nowthenafter

can mistake ever be not mistake can illusion ever be composition of not illusion can dream ever be not dream can wrong ever be right can air be divided with a sword of intellect or steel or any i have spent lot of time indulging in and trying to determine my correctness of thinking i blame myself often it is not right for me to think so or say so or do so i feel sorrow grief guilty ashamed anger fear excited or over joyed accordingly are my deeds wrong over and over I ask myself i declare what I did is mistake i apologise and i alert myself that i must not repeat this mistake i pray i do not have any clue how to not commit a mistake not thinking may be a mistake i know thinking is mistake always i know not thinking too is a mistake is it right to be mistaken do i have a choice there is no way can i not commit a mistake can i maya it is impossible to avoid My situation is hopeless Net is cast around me and hangs around me always there is no way I can ...

i have been living in fantasy as far back i remember my fantasy is me a super human which now i know i am my fantasy is about technology not seen so far however some technology not dreamt by you is available today were not unthinkable then the communication network that grew all over the earth surface eliminated all need for wire connection i was very attracted to fantasy of time travel and realities that exist and cannot disappear time is 4th dimension and one can travel in any direction and then from that time point in any direction in the 3D space coordinates. i can complicate my life thinking of rentals available in that time period for space travel in person my body and mind that can be transport to that time or the machine is me all these is easy if i am able to imagine me absolute that is time invariant independent of whatever reality is in existence in any time absolute or relative such realities cannot keep my engaged with excitement of fantasy where i in time...

soham has extraordinary will he cannot be swayed from whatever he set his mind to do good or bad or acceptable to me or not his priorities cannot be changed yesterday i came to know he his not taking food except water from beginning of january the entire month he gave the reason that he was following what he was studying or sleeping yesterday he ate solid for first time that too very little according to joya i concluded that his biological clock got totally disturbed last four years he was driving average 100 miles everyday for his studies plus all related study work that screwed up his biological clock and whatever he had had he was overweight he set up his mind to reduce weight and he started fasting i saw definitely his paunch is gone he reduced at least 25 lbs in one month assume you have a house full of furnitures and the carpet needs replacement and you have no help whatever engineering technique you use it is truly needs great efforts had i not accumulated s...

I saw a film - pulp fiction and have not digested it yet. I cannot see any more films for now. i am haunted. i even postponed my phone calls to india. last night i called uttam and mejo boudi to find out what they know about those i knew. uttam did not look up amitava i urged him to do. he gave some excuse. he sent me parcel of clothes - my royal bengali dresses i would love to wear in US I already have a collection. the parcel is still at kolkata head office. mejo boudi informed me about her birthday celebration. chandra is in kolkata and her returned is postponed because of omoo and her illness. she has viral plus all complications high blood sugar two operations on spines and inability to walk straight. a prisoner. i observed health can be curse. everybody has this curse. i too have it. no matter my standpoint i visited a physician for no reason but personal to find out what is wrong with me. I had found out about my high blood sugar. I have changed my diet entirely and my ha...

i am very personal when i attend to politics. when i was young i attended to some oration of politicians being in kolkata and barring of very loud speakers. however i never attended any meetings held by my generation. in fact i kept away from any political meetings. i was very vocal and called myself apolitical. As a middle age and middle class citizen of India i was keen follower of politics. I supported some activities and opposed some but within my circle where i exchanged my views to remain within my home and friends who visited me in home and office. i was very personal and private. I followed budget and calculated how worse off i would be. I became more private after migration to US. I never felt it was my country and looked forward to my return to my homeland. My visit to India for very short period of two weeks completely chastened me. I did not find myself returning home but to a strange land filled with wolves. I was shocked to find them considering themselves doing a ...

I don't age. I don't lose my light after million birth and life. I am the meaning of life. I am the only light that lights my world. I am the one only master. I am the magician without need.  i am self sufficient. I am the absolute. The One and only one. Even if try i can never change. I am the supreme lord without relation and without superior or inferior.

নন্দলাল তো একদা একটা করিল ভীষণ পণ - ডিপ্লোমার তরে, যা করেই হোক, রাখিবেই সে জীবন। সকলে বলিল, ‘আ-হা-হা কর কি, কর কি, নন্দলাল?’ নন্দ বলিল, ‘বসিয়া বসিয়া রহিব কি চিরকাল? আমি না করিলে কে করিবে আর উদ্ধার এই পরিবার ’ তখন সকলে বলিল- ‘বাহবা বাহবা তোমার প্রতিজ্ঞার ।’ নন্দর বাবা  দুশ্চিন্তায়  মরে, দেখিবে নন্দেরে  কেবা! সকলে বলিল, ‘যাও না নন্দ, করো না বাবার সেবা’ নন্দ বলিল, বাবার জন্য জীবনটা যদি দিই- না হয় দিলাম, - তাতে  আমার  উন্নতির  হইবে কি? বাঁচাটা আমার অতি দরকার, ভেবে দেখি চারিদিক’ তখন সকলে বলিল- ‘হাঁ হাঁ হাঁ, তা বটে, তা বটে, ঠিক।’ নন্দ একদা হঠাৎ এপ্লিকেশন  করিল চাকরির , পাতায় পাতায় সার্টিফিকেটের নাম হইলো  বা হির; পড়িল ধন্য জ্ঞানের   জন্য নন্দ খাটিয়া খুন; এপ্লিকেশন  যত বিশগুণ  ঘুম, খায় দশ গুণ; খাইতে ধরিল নান  কুকি ছোকা  পিজা থাল থাল, সকলে বলিল- ‘বাহবা বাহবা, বাহবা নন্দলাল।’ বাবা হয়  পাগল।  করে  দরখাস্ত ননদের চাকরির । recruiter ফোন করি লে নন্দ বলে...

this morning i got up after relatively undisturbed sleep after viewing Pulp Fiction. The film was unexpectedly gripping. I could hardly follow what was happening. that did not matter at all. this morning i did some searching on the movie etc. putting together story actors writers etc. then i started about me insane and me sane. what is timeline, chronology, sequence induction integer etc. do they matter. i realized i am quite insane meaning confused about event sequence. can i put together in chronological sequence the events i witnessed in my life. is it required to establish my sanity. is it ever necessary to prove one sanity if so how by cross verification by independent expert what is normal what is abnormal the film was very abnormal kind of movie with many threads of events taking place parallely but presented in a chronological manner. it becomes confusing for viewer like me who already confused about his sanity and doubts about his rational thinking. who already beli...

i always engage in relative truth they are so obsessing that they occupy my mind and environment like fog for many many days and years i am talking about them now day in day out for many decades one that cropped up in my mind is about teacher and student and learning we have seen purana stories that learning for karna did not come to use because he feigned his origin to Parasuram his teacher his may come to use for others except himself since he did not represented himself is it absolute or relative relative no guru can teach better than oneself i have another story from guru dronacharya about his own low origin from poverty in order to elevate himself from poverty he became royal teacher from royal origins and refused to teach anyone else although one aboriginal assumed drona as teacher in seclusion and learned himself self taught drona found out by chance his superior talent and in order to preserve royal patronage he physically damaged his ability by asking remune...

is there a cycle? time really repeating all over again with events exactly same it is perhaps always so but we think it is different we have seasons years yugas it seems there is cycles bamboo blooms every twelve years followed by consequences explosions of rat population and destruction of grains and famine astrologers thinks so astronomers thinks so common human believes so my heads spins i have not timed its spin my head spinning may not be constant theory of illusion theory from illusion learning or knowledge from illusion ---------------------------------- morse discovered coding system for distant communication with dots and dashes a reliable way of communication in english between two machines as human fronts telegraph i write often of course for human who by chance shall be reading me and understanding what i write i write without punctuation with 26 letters and blanks dashes dots i have no way to know but i assume ----------------------------...

Shankara got permission to teach for 16 years i imagine myself listening to young 16 years old Shankara taught vedanta purana walking along with him to all corners of subcontinent and establishing rather re-establishing temples to be visited by pilgrims for all time to come. i imagine myself to be taught the difference between truth and false and how is the ingredients of false. Vivekachudamani Geita Brahmasutra Mahabharata. I do not have permission to teach my son for even one day. I am a parrot. I think I know but I do not know. Vasistha was in ISI when I was in M2. He used to stay in RS Hostel and moved around with Hindi speaking group around the pnds of ISI Hostels. He used to be silent but stood out. Very handsome. Very good looking young man. He had a reputation when he came, he was student of J L Kelly, the topologist. he was Phd from Berkeley at the age of 22. He was in ISI when he was very young. He was awarded Master and Bachelor degree simultaneously from Patna Univ...

bhaskar was my colleague in computronics. his law states that  within the organization all employees conscience are always clear. irrespective of their activity that may not be of any moral standard. an employee may be inefficient stealing and cheating but he or she gives more than what he gets or earns or steals or cheats. he cannot go against his conscience through out his employment. valmiki the first indian poet and writer of ramayana coined a name for a river that was totally transparent and clear that one can see its bottom if one's conscience is clear. The word or name is Tamas. However if one's conscience is not clear the river is pitch dark nothing under the surface is visible. We thus have this Sanskrit sentence - Tamasama Joytirmaya. Guide me to light from my darkness. Valmiki had to write Ramayana when the crystal clear Tamas river turned pitch dark in his eyes. he had to clear his conscience. Soham is afflicted with the Valmiki problem. He is extraordinarily...

maya ~ illusion ~ not repetitive ~ random ~ everytime is first time ~ without meaning no none nothing changes ever it is always my misconception i imagine one many any love joy grief pain anger fear shame desperation depression death unbearable future past now ma me kamal gopal joya zinia soham cole innocent good bad divine devil as i please what i please karma ~ falsehood ~ all karma is futile ~ all reason belief is futile ~ nothing ever happens self delusion there is not one many or any it is my insanity instability creativity falsehood with self absolute ~ truth ~ time invariant indestructible unchangeable background timeless invisible insensible innocent wordless empty~space dharma ~ nati nati nati ~ not that not that not that

however a story first ramakrishna displayed his stillness immobile stance in public many times i hear i also read all his dialogs on daily basis written down by one of his disciple known was masterda in 1500 pages in bengali called kathamrita. it was then abridged and translated in english. that was chief source of all the books on ramakrishna and his disciples we come across. I read ramakrishna never referred to his guru by name. he referred to him as nangta, naked. It was regarded as traditional indian custom never refer to your object of worship by name. I have often talked about yagyavalkya and his erudition - his knowledge of brahman and superiority over all knowers. he shut off gargi rebuking her not to ask ancestry or origin of brahman. But he asked instead a question that shut off all opposition to accept him having superior knowledge of brahman. he asked: do any of you instead tell me how one is reborn when life is snuffed out and there is no root for human like plants f...

i lack faith in me and cannot stay away from my knowledge or experience i must be enjoying my suffering in my own hand time is illusion of my mind i hide gandiv and abandon my knowledge i need no protection there is no account of time i remember my gandiv and go searching who are they i remember the hidden cite i am instantly aware of my world that was not there my insecurity is my security my world my happiness my home is my unhappiness is my instability the inseparable 5 brothers fell on after another their home their anchor departed first they were heading towards meru where heaven touches earth the fixed point automatic elevator instantly sucks one to heaven from meru meru is the land of innocence where i landed ......................... does time flow in heaven is it possible ever to return again to my world or knowledge is lost and impossible i would not know i spilled my beans meru has no atmosphere meru is absence unless one has a blueprint...

I have been telling my offsprings that one need be a short circuit between external and internal meaning one need not jump to conclusion no matter what external is pride internal is getting moved positive or negative attracted or repulsed i hear about chemistry meaning relationship causing bonding opposite of bombing causing lot of exhausions neither is good nor bad but definitely a waste that is preventable lepers do not possess sensations it is a kind of nerve disease can they remain attracted to their body or others body suppose i am hard of hearing it is kind of blessing i don't really hear what is being said i don't anticipate death when i see a gun pulled at me all is necessarily dud it is really a great advantage to be an idiot thomas edison was really in great advantage compared to others since he was hard of hearing he could not be disturbed by words in a crowd is it necessary to be sharp does it matter very much to know the day date and ...

intelligence is required to do things faster than others in the same time i somehow against this most of my life i did not wish to be good at things for the reason of getting attention i enjoyed cleverness for the sake of cleverness my brother was very good at doing things precisely saving space and information and using algorithms i was fortunate to watch him doing this he did it for the sake of fun as well as he was very broad minded to give the same away free he never felt bad about it and did not wish his named associated with the same he had a teacher D Basu who did lot of fundamental work in statistics and is also remembered for the same his theorem known as basu's theorem had a very short proof give by kamal basu begged kamal publicly many times to publish the same or allow him to do the same but he turned down kamal was famously known in isi to give solutions, proofs or counter examples that benefited others and never sought laurels for himself he was very unp...

there are quite a few who does not like him to be president despite he is president and there is no question of being impeached muller is not going to meet any expectation of democrat or anybody president is president and cannot be removed no matter what he does in this case trump is as president is being stopped doing anything but where is the alternative looking at the sorry state of affair of our politicians i have no doubt trump is going to remain as next president he shall avail his emergency power to make the wall he makes despite all and mighty internet drug peddling corporations manufacturing has to come back to US to sustain economy for its own stake manufacturing has to be done in US to reverse balance of payment what pragmatism stops trump to not award himself 5 or 6 billion i do not understand but if he does he sure to be next president despite everybody trying to control him of course as of now he is galliver in the land of lilliputs 

2014 and the spectacular success is coming apart we had gimmicks after gimmicks lot of gones planning commissions currencies maan-ki-baat cbi education defence rbi one thing is very clear that people of india do not have any confidence that any institution can really be relied upon as institution immorality bravely worn as honesty without shame but where is the alternative

the wayside currently i am is a quartz expanse i can imagine myself i can imagine my  home uncomfortable is comforting i fail to imagine and i have to i used to stand next to a cubicle when i was working for irs at csc i used sit with one other person kim a korean he had lot of hidden energy to write scripts charting progress of the project project started about 10 years back and by then 12 billion was spent to overall irs tax processing system by then it was 10% done the old system was written entirely in assembler language the new system was being written in c++ cics and db2 in a manner neither much knowledge of c++ cics or db2 is required progress was unbelievably slow and about 400 people were involved and every month about 10% were replaced with new set of people every new set of people is taught the system being built for about 10 weeks i tried to know what is the nuts and bolts of the system being built to find out anything is happening or all is hoax my s...

10000 years ago some Altamira cave man drew a fuming byson with color clay that enlightened us about the environment and ability of our ancestors. Our astronomers give us lot of information about our universe. It is ever expanding . It's size. It's dimensions. It's age. I write million words every year. I do not read them. Last night I took off. I felt very sick. I became absent. This morning Cole came to my bedside many times. He even called me uncle. But I could not get up. My body was going through overall. It took about 30 hours to compose my thoughts. I think million thoughts a day. It is too much of an effort to write them down. But still do some of them. they are very repetitive. Recently I discovered i can not compose any thing worth writing or reading. I am not collector of laurels. My learnings are not worth the dust and must not even be preserved. I still write. i do not be deluded to think that i am worth listening to. As a child i live...

why i dream so often of demolition squad and that i can not find my home watching parts unknown it was same dream anthony bourdain frequently dreamt it was his nightmares he is in a long corridor of a luxury hotel and not finding his room he at long last opens a door at the end of the corridor to find a strange butcher (?) with salvador dali mustache facing him tony committed suicide in a hotel hanging last year in july leaving parts unknown unfinished the last episode was on bhutan bhutan promotes highest happiness content as a country as a whole i wished to talk about my teachers in my life my life i have recently from my dreams is without content my life no matter how long is just empty without content my teacher is my dreams as a child is used to dream me like fish being baited from sky to be plucked out into sky when i became young adult i learnt to jump and jump till i took off to sky later i used to dream showing off my ability to fly to all terrestrial now a...

my knowledge is entirely falsehood and it is the cause of my needless endless suffering my life is a total waste unless this is the most i am capable of learning from my life all i hope to know ever that there is nothing to know or remember and that too does not depend on me or my ability what a parasitic existence of mine even if i promise myself every moment of my living that knowledge is going to cause my indigestion it is going to cause my indigestion mine is thoroughly hopeless situation All my learning is false it cannot come to any use when it is needed but causes me endless and needless unbearable unforgettable suffering. I am living the life of falsehood. story of karna who believed what he was told karna was the eldest child of Kunti unmarried mother his father was sun he was disposed off as just born in the river and was recovered and raised as a child of a couple of low caste he learnt to fight feigning higher borne from brahmin parashuram ...

সে অনেকদিন আগের কথা .. বিদিশার রাজা নতুন রাণীকে নিয়ে ভাবলেন মাছ ধরতে যাবেন । রাজ জ্যোতিষী কে জিজ্ঞেস করলেন বৃষ্টি হবার আশঙ্কা আছে কিনা ? জ্যোতিষী গণনা করে বললেন কোন আশঙ্কা...

in india we have many party politics all politics in india started with one party politics Congress mishandling of kashmir based indian psyche led to hindutva and bjp centric politics utter demise of congress took place because of one single person mauna singh and his concept of honesty that was worse than dishonesty thermometer for honesty went so low that it was unbelievable sometime during 2012 i spent 10-13 days in india during my whole stay i did not meet a single person who is not utterly dishonest including my family members it was unbelievable but true they were all afraid of me that i would topple their applecart of business schemes benefitting from the legacy of my brothers's savings who was in hospital i was the only living brother i did not find one single persons including my siblings that he should come back home and recover they including my own family went to all extent to spoil my labor to rehabilitate him away from hospital where he was given w...

there are four kinds past ~ memories present ~ pain future ~ inevitable none of the above ~ all is absent ~ me is absent ~ always

middle of a desert nowhere to nowhere a lonely arab is waiting to sight any movement one jeep was moving like a black dot in the horizon when it came near enough the arab waved it to stop and came over "could you help me cross the distance to the next town?" "oh yes, hop in." "but sir, if you are so kind enough, could you help me bring along that dead camel with me?" "ok, no problem, push the camel in the back of the jeep." "you are so kind. let heaven shine on you. Could you kindly help me with the camel?" together they somehow got the dead camel tucked in the back of the jeep. next town came at last after 100 miles. "you are the kindest englishman on this earth ever i shall remain ever a slave of yours if you kindly helped me reach my flat at masjid math lane?" the arab guided the english at the front of the building where in second floor he had his flat. "dear sir. you have done me a favor tha...

there were two zeno who believed in two different things - one zeno a mathematician who promoted a paradox called zeno's paradox that stated and proved that change and movement is an illusion of our mind. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeno%27s_paradoxes It is my believe that modern set theory wished to lay the foundation of real numbers without this paradox in order to call them real numbers; thus we have ZFC axiomatic set theory; the C is for cantor's extension that countable set of induction being valid. Not only finite inductive definition is allowed but also inductive definition on all integers number to create set members are allowed. we have another zeno who founded and taught stoicism ~ a school of thought. they believed in fate that one is born with; and universe is a living organism. apparently this man came from rome. https://www.pantheism.net/paul/history/zeno.htm he was a shipwreck and was sold and bought as slave and eventually became enormously wealthy. I a...

i used to know one person and i went to his house many times but in last several years i have not met him. he was a hotel stewart in kolkata after retirement he was sponsored by his daughter. here in columbus he was in jpmc canteen and most of stories were about food and indians. he told them many times. in one story an indian parent visiting usa going back to india tripped airport security alarm by opening security door into tarmac for a smoke. in some other how indians get from walmart bed etc bor their guest and return them back to walmart when they leave. the story that is his favorite is about human body organs. arse hole being discriminated against for ages wished to be publicly demonstrate his equality by doing Satyagraha. Meaning non-cooperation. days passed and he stood fast. the uncomfort was all over body. living is hell. reason is non-cooperation of arse hole. at last all begged him to be superior and cooperate to bring in peace and comfort. long ago i did my first col...

this is the first russian i learnt by virtue of my association with some russian engineers who came to install our purchase of computer. they were about 10 of them and they stayed more than 3 months. the machine was very early production and it had lot of problems always. Many of the problems were contact problems and manufacturing defects. reading must be correct following writing. wherever it is magnetic media it was problem generating. Besides the equipments were very heavy and made of steel plus cooling facilities - there always were lot of vibration and contacts were not taking place properly. the problem solving techniques were some slaps and resitting of circuit holding cards to start with. after wards going deeper to find the error generating contact and making contact if needed externally by wire connections. they even used to replace and wire magnetic cores used to hold 0 or 1. If you ask the engineer who seemed to know more his pet answer is "tak". it mean...

i had been knowing wrong for long long time how could i learn when there was no learning available in the atmosphere  no memory statisticians are often obsessed with an imagined distribution having density function of exp (-λt) time t >=0 where λ is expected time for the event to happen. statisticians did not stop there it also have discrete distribution of number of events happening in a given time interval. the number can be 0 to ∞ it was named after Poisson. but what I am talking about not about memoryless really but it does not matter how much i remember or learned it is of no use  you can estimate nothing however if you are a believer  you may still believe and be expecting however nothing is going to happen what ever you expecting and coming true 100 out of 100 times that much is learning or communication illusion good is bad bad is good i am more than prepared for all occasions always

I certainly live in a very bad world ~ all the meanings of bad is true in my world as a child i learnt not to use fowl language and did not mix intimately with those who are in the pursuit of selfish purpose i learnt at a very childhood as soon as i learnt to follow stories that had some deep meanings and persuaded me thereafter to avoid casual pursuit of pleasure as a young man i wished for relationship of opposite sex but never indulged beyond casual acquaintances with my marriage i came to know another family but they failed all my expectations i avoided them and i do till today one reason stayed with me all the while with me if i know the difference between bad and good then no reason is enough for me to be bad and compromise with bad people no reason is enough slowly i learnt something that is unbelievable yet true all is illusion it truly does not matter what you see or do or think or talk but it matters for me I need never compromise no reason is enough ...

I voted for trump for one reason alone i did not think Obama and Clinton were wrong in aligning with outside interest more than american interest. they did nothing positive about america and their personal agenda was far more overwhelming. they had to be stopped. i heard tonight trump and also democrats response. it was very clear to me democrats failed again to align with american interest. they are far too much wrong to undermine constitution and their agenda is to capture whitehouse at any cost. it is very clear to me 2020 president election is written off in favor of trump. frankly i really wish trump is not reelected. but it is becoming inevitable. given very clear democrat agenda to oppose trump for whatever cost. it is irrational. if trump really declares emergency and goes ahead with the construction of the wall, it is 100% likely that trump is going to be reelected in 2020. Democrat will prove themselves useless and unrealistic. democrats by now know that muller h...

i think i was in class one when masima came to our place alone searching for job as school teacher in chittaranjan after het BT training. she stayed for one month and got a job and took some temporary job and accomodation and left with Dada to live separately. It upset my mother and me very much. Her three children came soon after. madhu was two years senior to me, basu of my age, jagu was three years younger. masima was hard of hearing. ever since they were part of our family. she was ever so discriminating about dada always criticizing him. while dada had not ever raised a single critical comment for her. it was selfless sacrifice from dada. masima lived 15 years after dada's death. today I came to know from buron that masima is no more and has died this morning india time. she was part of all occasions in our family. she was stubbornly very materialist. she made three flats. she also kept dada's land and it was not given even after jamaibabu pursued. i infact refrai...

আমার দরকার নেই। আমার সময়ের দরকার নেই। আমার সময় কাটাবার দরকার নেই। আমার কোরো সময়ের দরকার নেই। আমার পড়ার দরকার নেই। আমার জানার দরকার নেই। আমার বাঁচার দরকার নেই। আমার লেখার দরকার নেই। আমার বলার দরকার নেই। আমার আনন্দের দরকার নেই। আমার দেখার দরকার নেই। আমার ভাবার দরকার নেই। আমার করার দরকার নেই। আমার শোনার দরকার নেই। আমার বোঝার দরকার নেই। আমার কারোর দরকার নেই। আমার কিছুর দরকার নেই।

i cannot turn my grief into happiness or disappear I cannot accept unacceptable i prefer and welcome death i cannot compromise i am not broad minded i cannot change i am incompatible i cannot change my world i cannot even look at my world without change it is impossible i am too weak I cannot be cornered or caught or slaved into doing my escape route is ever open I embrace my absence and not me or my world in silence

i cannot measure ocean with my knowledge of pond i can separate sugar and salt crystal with a knife but i cannot separate milt and water with a knife nor can i divide a glass of water with a knife knife is a tool of discrimination i have no tool of discrimination to decide between my love and hate preference looking at night sky and glittering display of lights from stars i cannot decide among them my preferences i cannot differentiate the sky on the basis of sun's or moon's path in the sky during day time i have accumulated so much knowledge of my world and people but they are not useful to measure me i can blind myself but i cannot but not see me i cannot love i cannot hate i cannot prefer not even my death not even my life my knowledge measure is a waste of time i m immeasurable i m unknowable is it ever possible despite the absentee me i am momentarily present or absent in my world i have always to concur on my own can i b what can i pr...

mullah would walk into desert and enjoy solitude silence sand and dark dome star filled sky it is different tonight he could hear from long distance mullah traced the sound to discover it is coming from under the sand approaching the source he discovered it is coming from dug up hole in the sand occupied by a dervish chanting to dispel evil spirits trembling greatly panicked mullah called out and asked dervish for water dervish gave him a pitcher and gave him direction to the water hole mullah said trembling let me be in i do not wish to be possessed by spirit go with the sword dervish said mullah took the sword and ordered dervish out of the hole you know mantra to dispel spirit and i don't dervish left for fetching water and mullah occupied dervish bed in the hole dervish return with water but mullah refused don't come near i shall kill you how do i know that you are you and not spirit pretending dervish i need sleep i shall slit your throat if i h...

i did not sniff i did not see i did not hear i did not withdraw i did not taste i did not touch i did not smell i left in total death silence i took nothing i left pure unflinching unexpressing unexpecting i left them all with their filth of their perceptions to live in them in comfort and indulgence i am pure self untouched untouchable i am sound of silence none shall ever see or hear except final joy of triumph i indeed did nothing perhaps hopefully i shall be able to prove me again to be with without