i am insane

this morning i got up after relatively undisturbed sleep after viewing Pulp Fiction. The film was unexpectedly gripping. I could hardly follow what was happening. that did not matter at all. this morning i did some searching on the movie etc. putting together story actors writers etc. then i started about me insane and me sane. what is timeline, chronology, sequence induction integer etc.

do they matter. i realized i am quite insane meaning confused about event sequence. can i put together in chronological sequence the events i witnessed in my life. is it required to establish my sanity.

is it ever necessary to prove one sanity
if so how
by cross verification by independent expert
what is normal
what is abnormal

the film was very abnormal kind of movie with many threads of events taking place parallely but presented in a chronological manner. it becomes confusing for viewer like me who already confused about his sanity and doubts about his rational thinking. who already believes in many things that none others believes in. for example there is no timeline or chronology despite evidences of fossils and layers of deposits of soil. techniques carbon dating to determine time sequences of simultaneous events at different parts of the world.

it is all confusing. i am confused often and i indulge in them. even when i study them with intensity and great concentration i am very superficial.

i seem to be not in touch with any thing reality imagination places my wellbeing my dependence and most of people and everything else. they whirl around me and my head itself cannot cope up with any.

and they seem to not matter at all. even when i am very serious. i don't seem to remember anything context time chronology why ... why

i have become stone 

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