বৃথা জীবন

my knowledge is entirely falsehood
and it is the cause of my needless endless suffering

my life is a total waste
unless this is the most i am capable of learning from my life

all i hope to know ever
that there is nothing to know or remember
and that too does not depend on me or my ability

what a parasitic existence of mine

even if i promise myself every moment of my living that knowledge is going to cause my indigestion
it is going to cause my indigestion

mine is thoroughly hopeless situation

All my learning is false it cannot come to any use when it is needed but causes me endless and needless unbearable unforgettable suffering.

I am living the life of falsehood.

story of karna who believed what he was told

karna was the eldest child of Kunti
unmarried mother
his father was sun
he was disposed off as just born in the river
and was recovered and raised as a child of a couple of low caste
he learnt to fight feigning higher borne from brahmin parashuram
he was discovered by parashuram later as non brahmin
he was cursed that he would forget all his learning when that would be required most
when he would be fighting for his life
karna was a very sympathetic soul and easily moved by words
he was born with armors that cannot be penetrated
but he gave them away
he was leading the arm force for one day only
in the morning of that day he was told by kunti
that he was son of her
she asked her not to fight pandavas her 5 other sons
he declined but promised her that he shall not be the cause of their death
at the days end with sun setting his chariot was sunk in mud
his charioteer salya the advisor  was physically incapable of lifting the wheel out of mud
karna stepped out
however he forgot all his learnings at that moment
how to defend himself
and he was assassinated by his brother arjun 

karna's life was without respite of endless suffering
he suffered from acting on believing whatever he heard without discrimination

eyes are far reliable sense organs than ears

highest being intellect
the discriminator of truth and false

while all is my mistaken belief and never existing

and this never ever changes
my life is my mistake
my life disappears without trace
my life or any of mine cannot be saved or cared even for any nano moment