nowthenafter

enemy is never dead even after death. ravana did not die for rama even having killed him. what remained is sita's chastity? whether ravana's sperm is in sita? that doubt remained with rama even after sita's death. whose sons were luv and kush? with that doubt in mind rama along with his three brothers committed suicide in the river sarju holding luv kush (stem and leaf) of durva in their hand valmiki the storyteller and the seer the unique the incomparable is enemy my existence, the seed that germinated to be the earthling? that seed is immortal ~ birthless deathless existence less while i suffer from preference of comfort over discomfort and varied other similar feelings ~ love hate pain pleasure good bad ... originate from society i belong or society i own! enemy is me, my birth, my death, my life ~ my preferential feelings. can i conquer my enemy ~ my preferential feelings? is it impossible to live with both my children luv and kush ~ comfort or discomfort? is the...

my comments elsewhere resulted in account block in my facebook: "every word i write is my tears where i had roots that gave buddha valmiki sankaracharya and permanent cure for blindness of humanity, light of liberation abolishing slavery and addiction! hindutva virus causing 1.3 billion blindness and they don't know .... the land of seers" it took more than 30 minutes to recover my rights to my account. it was not really a machine causing automated blockage tripped by some word or phrase. i was clearly told that facebook believed my account being used by a group. it is definitely not true. the questionnaire to prove my identity was not very easy one. they interrogated me over my last 30 days activities they were very exhausting for my failing memory; i delete very frequently. they asked for location or isp provider ip. language affinity etc. last but not the least i was asked to change my password. i think about 2006-7 i started my FB account and password used i nev...

simple device of automation is repetition or mantra. its realization is yantra. gramophone. bell ~ manual or mechanical. clock ~ mechanical electronic ... why do you need a very big cycle of repetition needing written materials book verses memory literacy and aptitude; why can't it be one syllable or two or three. circle may have radius of 1 syllable or none. what harm if it is hu hu hu hu .... as suggested by mulla nasruddin. it can be very many billion dollar business. if only it is kept secret. mantra can be two syllables. ra ma or ta gi. it can be more, say 4 ~ su.pply de.mand ... they acquire meanings and life for human if repeated over and over as long as conscious. one can be professional to do useful product development that needs supply chain cycle. mantras makes professionals of all kinds ~ physician scientist teacher sportsman  painter broker banker politicians economist priest meteorologist chemist writer chess player .... only memory required for large repertoire ...

the stories or words from the class of writings called shruti must necessarily be listened to. the truth in it or meanings in them as per the listener ~ whatever be their perceptions. if anyone is listening to me! all truths in them is perceived truth of an individual and there is no correctness or correction. there is another class of writings called smriti and them can be memorized or read but no assimilation is required but for reproduction. smriti is used for events called puja brata or celebrations. strange yet not so strange. the collection of smriti and shruti was done in the hills of badrinath. smritis were collected written and memorized by about 20 disciples of veda vyasa a pen name for the principal perhaps. similarly 20 more disciples or resident of ashram collected brushed and modified once for all as shruti. they are unmodifiable thereafter and written in sanskrit. a language transformation that defies new grammer new meanings but on very fixed once for all. like all...

janaka is the best character that demonstrates another characteristics of concept ~ public self. private self is silent absent creator. who would believe in abstraction? who cares for absent forever in the visible tangible world and movement or change. constant and absent what is that and how that is relevant for some who only believes in 'seeing is believing' even magic! even if private self is creator the father, janaka, of creation especially society or public self appearance. he was king provider of society created conjugal love called Mithila. He himself is married sunayana, pleasant eyed. but he adopted the daughter sita born of single parent mother earth. he discovered her while tilling earth for cultivation! sita was called Janaki. Is she knowledgeable? other meaning of janaka is curious about father or creator of public or society. he had a direct daughter named Urmila from his spouse Sunayana. She was married to Lakshman brother of Rama. Rama means ease or comfort ...

in any story villain is most interesting. unlike most others. definitely minority but then keeps the world around him in tenterhook. my scanty knowledge of ravana is not from actual reading but from listening from others. my mother told me that he too a resident divinity. he was banished from heaven for his bias for seven incarnations. e appealed for reduction of term. he was given three terms given option that he must be very bad villain. unconquerable by mere earthlings. born along three more siblings of a demon mother who could deceive any one and father a saint. they worked hard to be evilest on the face of earth. adequately they were provided opportunity disharmonize the entire world and got adequate blessings and boons from mighties. they could not be stopped. lifetime is pre allotted and so also the opportunities successes failures and relations to be invincible. ravana had to reach out to sita direct born daughter of mother earth without any seed fertilization. incidentally ...

teach? it is even impossible to teach even me, else i would not have taken seventy years myself to learn this. in one life one would learn that much one is capable of learning. population is nearly 7 billion i understand; and it is ever increasing! very few is departing truly. i am told 11+ billion is threshold the planet earth is designed for. one has to repeat many times in the same class until graduation. no escape for incapable. one has to repeat with lesser capabilities or faculties perhaps. blind deaf monkey cat dog tree plant fungus .... ... again has its limited capacities for each kinds and numbers for those who understands numbers ... even virus has to disappear if exceeds the designed capacity ..... do i know me? anyone knows me? do i know zero? what is zero? how big or how small is me? what is illusion? does anyone know? do i know? heaven is the only place from which there is no departure. unlimited. for those who understands numbers. the one the only one. i...

all about  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circle i have a piece of thread. i join two ends. make it kink free and a circle using compass. i know radius and length of the thread. their relationship do not change. i know. i open my eyes. i did not dream. i am not dreaming now. i am pondering what do i think of me. what was i yesterday? what i will be tomorrow. what i shall be after six month. my life expectancy is of  for two months. my sight expectancy is for twenty nine days. my listening expectancy is thirty five days. my touch sensitivity expectancy is 45 days. my digestive expectancy is three weeks..... i have already breathed last i draw many circles around me. circles of happinesses with people i love and never see with people i don't love but see and feel. illusions. center is what is the center? i know yet i do not know what i know can i predict illusion গায়ে আমার পুলক লাগে চক্ষে ঘনায় ঘোর  ~ লাগলে লাগুক কিছু কি আমি করতে পারি এখন কখনো ~ জ্বালালে জ্বলতেই হয়...

what more happiness is possible? i ask. i am working on this for many decades and alone. i needed seeing someone who is end result. i came in contact and saw him for perhaps 5 or more hours. i had to listen to him and see his life who was definitely older than my age now. human. sane. active. modest. bare and unsupported and giving. creator in person. i aim to be perfect and witnessed perfection. there cannot be any misconception. i cannot make mistake. few words spoken hammered the meaning in me. my life i have to live as is silently and consume all my feelings silently and smile my satisfaction of accomplishment. i am under constant guidance and supervision of no other but the supreme almighty creator of my world especially me his interest is. he is creating the most precious creation taking decades and decades to make the perfection. this perfection is my absence and my silence now. this perfection is aidless independence. this perfection is perfect home for my world ~ all as...

it is impossible not to feel what i feel. i feel sadness of being cheated ... by my family member and i cannot stop not feeling anguish and hurt. i also come to know cheating done by others ~ all it is being done by my spouse. i cannot compromise with them even when i know. it is impossible. i have already noted that i am but epidermis of creator, a puppet; and i have to feel the deep sadness of trickery committed by my spouse all her relations and they involved my children. i cannot stop them. they somehow want to migrate to US and I am their vehicle. They do not have any consideration of my age health and physical inability and honest purpose of living. i feel the sadness. it is not preventable. Creator is so unkind! nothing is preventable. i can only be silent. i don't know if i can keep any resolution i make just now. can i keep my silence all time to come and always! i cannot prevent my inability to maintain my silence. all is definitely going to happen as it should and tha...

i have been hearing about lot ever since i knew language. it states that lot is inevitable and unavoidable and it starts before birth and perhaps does not end with death. so much so it has another name; karmaphal. there is no reason to be logical and start hypothesizing or predicticting future or past. of me or any or my world. if i assume there is time ~ absolute; i was long before my birth when language came into being; i was assigned a date and time and family to be part of and along with intellect body mind and a lot for my tenure of me and my world ~ all preassigned. i was also preassigned to write about lot of great intellectual staff to be written namely upanishads and puranas. i was also pre allotted not to know lot of staff  generally known by most in my world. i was pre allotted a family that would grow with me and create in me, myriad feelings every moment of my life. i shall be working day in day out to silence my feelings and struggle myself to remain silent. i...

those who don't know durva, a kind of grass made sacred by valmiki ramayana because the new born twin of sita were purified or cleaned with them by the midwife who delivered. the water of river tamasa near valmiki tapovan was so dark that nothing is visible below the surface of water. [i have swam similar water of river krishna.] ever since it is used for all kinds of puja for sprinkling water (no matter how unclean) to purify any deity being worshiped. kush is the top part and lav is bottom part of the stem of durva grass. valmiki for the first time set aside the question regarding parenthood of any child. a child has two parents ~ mother earth and father environment. sita herself direct born from earth and reared by celibate janaka, the father. new born thus purified has dharma none. that of the supreme ~ the creator child though lav kush could hold all mighty lordship of any and all earthling. pure at heart has no fear of public opinion ~ numbers and superiority never ma...

it is the same moment given to me every time i ask and i cannot stop asking. i am divided into 4. me joya zinia soham. every moment i am asked 4 questions.  they are my questions to myself. am i happy about my self? answer is never? why? my health wealth spouse children ... house home... i get tired and ask how long? fine, no problem have another moment. many moments later. i am tired. i wish to sleep. meru ~ silence ~ creator the axis that provides me every moment. i am tired of asking for another moment. another moment is another inevitable failures. i definitely do not want another failure or another moment. i do not wish to do. not even ask. this moment is sufficient. it is not. why? i am not meru. i am not silence. why? i am the reason  ... fire unextinguished. why don't i tolerate the fire and let it burn wait till no more noise. what is alternative to patience? when i know my world cannot solve my problem. silence alone may silence my world ~ if only...

the most interesting character in mahabharata is undoubtedly dhritarashtra. he is just like me. obsessed with possession. what difference does it make for a blind person at birth! not so as long as his or her senses provoked! with heightened suspicion of being cheated and like all needed to be at least in hearing distance preferably in touching distance. as a writer of blind i must know if at all blind can perceive light as not blind perceives. although i have not ever seen creator but i am not blind as such. i am well aware that the alphabets that i am typing are spontaneous creation through puppet incapable of even seeing or sensing! i have been meticulously created to produce something to be produced. i am so much blind and deaf that i cannot even see that there is any need for these verbal output. except that i enjoy doing this. one of my greatest achievement is to discover that there cannot be any world where i belong that is not entirely me! yet i am full of feelings about n...

i have come to know many things in course of my research on my self. i do have a celestial origin that is never my perception or hypothesis. this origin is the creator of my world my world and me inclusive momentary reflection and language based and mirror image of what i conceive at that moment the background origin never change  origin is before after during whatever i conceive and perceive it is pointless to write down diligently whatever i am writing so that i do not have to re do my research. it is pointless to commit my findings in my memory. since i have resolved to risk one hundred percent to forget me my world words language events talks incidents rules society country obligations my well being health wealth existence ... all and everything logic reason sanity feelings home ...... i risk not knowing not obeying  ~ none and nothing need ever has to be okay or acceptable bearable i commit me my world my all possession my honor my will my past my future my...

this i have observed over 70 years and seen in place. i do not have free will even for a fraction of a moment. as much as i would not able to remember as frequently or as much i wish to remember. my hand is never loosen for even a fraction of moment to allow me freedom. it is not logic anymore. it is my observation. i have seen people proving theorem of free will. i have also seen intellectual proving theorem on space time and gravity curvature. all these theorems are perhaps are true for them individually but when it come to me my hands under iron grip now and ever. nothing ever happens to me as per will but disasterally for having no free will. innocence is keeping tight control over my free will. i am automaton. innocence has free will. i cannot guess. innocence is forever memoryless. innocence has no future. innocence is absent always. present is gift from innocence. present is fresh new unexpected ~ without tense ~ after or previous or reason! innocence is forever and creat...

i often participate in facebook conversation of others. i cannot help. part of my excitement that i cannot control. i usually delete them within hours. i dislike writing on walls. i consider defacing the same. still why i write? wall too is my world temporarily in my vision. i am trying to align to my world with a separation of moat that i would not able to cross with internet phone or media. i have need for writing. i have to really look at my excitement.  some boils that i need burst to stop being bothered about sensing. they usually get transferred to dream unless looked at sufficiently and bursted. i have no entry to any hall of fame in my world. i am prominent in the hall of evils to be insulted by any. it is reality and the insults reach me even in my dreams. i struggle and still my nerves but excitement continues. i have to write. not only for me to view but others to view. till my nerves cool down. my dreams are most agonizing. where i dream my failure that affects m...

i live in columbus oh. how does one describe me in person to provide a clear picture that i belong to columbus oh. I at least do no know. anyone visiting columbus for first time or many time may draw a clear of a columbus resident and i am perhaps unmistakably recognizable. yes i am very raw. in a way i have learnt nothing or as much as most who lived in columbus have learnt. so much so my 70 years residence as earthling has not imparted in me any recognizable characteristics that can say from my emission that i am an earthling. i had known or familiar with the inventor of ram mandir ashok singhal. he died in 2015. he was forced fed during vajpayee government to break his fast until death program for ram mandir. it was not required anymore since law order court judges police history everything is now sourced from rss. they have defined the code of conduct called hindutva and those who likes to be called hindu must be registered so in their books of register. why should i bother? i...

my fifty plus years devotion towards me for every wake hours to make me innocent in a world where everyone is running to become something is bit of a puzzle. at a very early age when i was in primary secondary school, and there after seven years college i did not have any ambition to be anything. i was obsessed to be original. i remember in our first class of psychology rhea das asked us to write on our ambition. i distinctly remember writing that i wish to be nobody and nothing and remain myself. that time i did not know but i had the advantage over everyone. i could spend as much time for myself than anybody i knew. there is very little point talking about my past now. the reason, there is nothing hidden to discover. there was never anybody else but me. no rhea das i started talking about. i was nobody's favorite but i had many favorites. it many be curious for me to know if any was at all very curious about me. i in fact do exercises not to be curious these days. not open let...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marjane_Satrapi i am fond of comics ever since i was a child. tintin i read many times and possessed many times and distributed many times even when i am as old as me at 70. then asterix hagar dennis charlie brown and many more. whenever i hear of comic i have to read. i collect them all i can get. by now i have ordered 15 marjane satrapi and have three of them. my eyes are increasingly giving me problems. it took me about three days to complete persepolis. it was black and white and small prints. i can omit words in books novels what not. many a film i see without listening to dialog or subtitle. i often see foreign films in languages i do not know or english pronunciations beyond me. but not so for comics. they are written for me! even if it is one picture. if i have to take up the comic book before i sleep, i am haunted with dreams giving me clues to what did not follow or missed. i was in bahrain during 1980-82. there was a mild oppression of shii...

Srinivasan N. Iyer   The Supreme Court under Justice Gogoi, accepted the statement submitted by the Govt to cover up their mistakes and other queries in a close envelope. The case filed by Mr Y Sinha, Arun Shourie an Prashant Bhushan was dismissed though they had submitted … See More Hide or report this Like  ·  Reply  ·  3h বাস্তব ছাড়া আমি   satyamevjayate ... truth prevails Edit or delete this Like  ·  Reply  ·  3h Arun Kumar Chaudhuri   বাস্তব ছাড়া আমি really? Hide or report this Like  ·  Reply  ·  See Translation  ·  3h বাস্তব ছাড়া আমি   Arun Kumar Chaudhuri when all is lies that prevails! unless you know what is truth yourself and that you know! unforgettable!! you are believer of false institutions and false value ~ i don't have to tell you that you are blind ~ y...