lot
i have been hearing about lot ever since i knew language.
it states that lot is inevitable and unavoidable and it starts before birth and perhaps does not end with death. so much so it has another name; karmaphal.
there is no reason to be logical and start hypothesizing or predicticting future or past. of me or any or my world.
if i assume there is time ~ absolute; i was long before my birth when language came into being; i was assigned a date and time and family to be part of and along with intellect body mind and a lot for my tenure of me and my world ~ all preassigned. i was also preassigned to write about lot of great intellectual staff to be written namely upanishads and puranas. i was also pre allotted not to know lot of staff generally known by most in my world.
i was pre allotted a family that would grow with me and create in me, myriad feelings every moment of my life. i shall be working day in day out to silence my feelings and struggle myself to remain silent. i am allotted many inventions however. all worked partially as pre allotted to work to silence me. instead of i go into predestined complacent end of activity without end ~ i am denied this end.
i was in a race to defeat me and my world that they shall never reach my visibility. i am predestined to defeat my lot. i always jumped into unknown knowing nothing ~ risking me and my world.
it surprises me that i am free and not a slave.
what is reality now?
i would not attempt to answer any question that may prop up in my mind. me at the center and my circle around the center is my lot, may be predestined named karmaphal. i am not bothered. any attempt of mine to remember and understand is revulsive feelings and i have to struggle hard till i am quite unaffected. intellect is burden pre allotted if i am incapable of ignoring the same. body is burden pre allotted if i am not able to ignore the same. same burden is my memory unless i am unaffected by the same. am i slave? family body mind intellect and rules of the world. can i ignore all rules? how?
silence ~ one and only one option to defy and challenge all power almighty inclusive full stop
suppose i am born with silver spoon in my mouth should i be sucking milk endlessly or buying pleasures in the market or talking endlessly or singing endlessly to make me disgusted with my noise and my ability to create noise for me.
it does not look very appetising for me. just because i have intellect; should i be exploring the same even in my deathbed. can i be blinded with my own intellect?
i have imagined myself quite reasonably as veda vyasa and valmiki. i have created a galaxy of characters all trying to be the supreme lord and rule their world. i do not find any goal to pursue such goals; and not even as vyasa or valmiki or any other goal by any astrologer predicting future of me or any or my world.
i do not like to play any mental game or even indulge in them. if i am pre allotted with future i do have no grievance of following the same. i abstain from even being curious. do i have superior and desirable alternative? if so, what makes that superior to convert all other mundane not worth my consideration?
why then i am persevering for 70 long years every moment writing my autobiography. for what end?
end is my victory over me my world my time my lot ~ i am not slave or enslaved
uttar melena ~ i have no life expectancy ~ i have breathed my last ~ i am no more
it states that lot is inevitable and unavoidable and it starts before birth and perhaps does not end with death. so much so it has another name; karmaphal.
there is no reason to be logical and start hypothesizing or predicticting future or past. of me or any or my world.
if i assume there is time ~ absolute; i was long before my birth when language came into being; i was assigned a date and time and family to be part of and along with intellect body mind and a lot for my tenure of me and my world ~ all preassigned. i was also preassigned to write about lot of great intellectual staff to be written namely upanishads and puranas. i was also pre allotted not to know lot of staff generally known by most in my world.
i was pre allotted a family that would grow with me and create in me, myriad feelings every moment of my life. i shall be working day in day out to silence my feelings and struggle myself to remain silent. i am allotted many inventions however. all worked partially as pre allotted to work to silence me. instead of i go into predestined complacent end of activity without end ~ i am denied this end.
i was in a race to defeat me and my world that they shall never reach my visibility. i am predestined to defeat my lot. i always jumped into unknown knowing nothing ~ risking me and my world.
it surprises me that i am free and not a slave.
what is reality now?
i would not attempt to answer any question that may prop up in my mind. me at the center and my circle around the center is my lot, may be predestined named karmaphal. i am not bothered. any attempt of mine to remember and understand is revulsive feelings and i have to struggle hard till i am quite unaffected. intellect is burden pre allotted if i am incapable of ignoring the same. body is burden pre allotted if i am not able to ignore the same. same burden is my memory unless i am unaffected by the same. am i slave? family body mind intellect and rules of the world. can i ignore all rules? how?
silence ~ one and only one option to defy and challenge all power almighty inclusive full stop
suppose i am born with silver spoon in my mouth should i be sucking milk endlessly or buying pleasures in the market or talking endlessly or singing endlessly to make me disgusted with my noise and my ability to create noise for me.
it does not look very appetising for me. just because i have intellect; should i be exploring the same even in my deathbed. can i be blinded with my own intellect?
i have imagined myself quite reasonably as veda vyasa and valmiki. i have created a galaxy of characters all trying to be the supreme lord and rule their world. i do not find any goal to pursue such goals; and not even as vyasa or valmiki or any other goal by any astrologer predicting future of me or any or my world.
i do not like to play any mental game or even indulge in them. if i am pre allotted with future i do have no grievance of following the same. i abstain from even being curious. do i have superior and desirable alternative? if so, what makes that superior to convert all other mundane not worth my consideration?
why then i am persevering for 70 long years every moment writing my autobiography. for what end?
end is my victory over me my world my time my lot ~ i am not slave or enslaved
uttar melena ~ i have no life expectancy ~ i have breathed my last ~ i am no more
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