the reason
my fifty plus years devotion towards me for every wake hours to make me innocent in a world where everyone is running to become something is bit of a puzzle. at a very early age when i was in primary secondary school, and there after seven years college i did not have any ambition to be anything. i was obsessed to be original. i remember in our first class of psychology rhea das asked us to write on our ambition. i distinctly remember writing that i wish to be nobody and nothing and remain myself. that time i did not know but i had the advantage over everyone. i could spend as much time for myself than anybody i knew.
there is very little point talking about my past now. the reason, there is nothing hidden to discover. there was never anybody else but me. no rhea das i started talking about. i was nobody's favorite but i had many favorites. it many be curious for me to know if any was at all very curious about me. i in fact do exercises not to be curious these days. not open letter. not enquire about my near relations... i wait for query if any to be answered all by themselves. if not it is okay. i have come to know of existence of so many names and related concepts that i am hard worked to find out what one is.
one of the name i am fond of; and often i have my own concept about the same ~ neuron. on my drive to library i got to think about my very long tenure of sleeps. today i was struggling remain awake the whole day. barely two hours back i got up but while driving i felt very sleep. i cannot even conveniently sleep in the library since it is about closing time. my home is long drive. i started thinking about one neuron called sleep. one neuron that was the first called innocent. no neuron can destroy this first neuron without knowledge. even sleep can be destroyed and so is every other neuron. any knowledge neuron is offspring with a bit of knowledge. the mother is everlasting. this innocent neuron is very interesting. it has no reason! every other neuron has reasons: one when it became; any number of others to become more learned.
i am still awake it is about three hours now and i am very hungry to sleep. i took several cups of tea. i solved amy inter related knowledge problems arose from 'can't find' or 'can't remember'; that took about one hour. i have as much possible stopped manufacturing curiosity neurons. i need sleep more than i need. i need to remain asleep many days at time. it is currently flooding day limits. i do not know how would i manage sleep if exceed days. more than 24 hours could be anything ~ it might as well be more than 48 hours 72 hours who knows then how many hours. my sleep then force the earth to rotate taking any number of hours; who knows? where is the witness when i myself is missing all the while !
fell asleep after two hours urgency neurons woke me up. for a while i could not follow what is urgency! nearby knowledge neuron suggested tank overflow!!!
on the way to innocence am i going to dismantle all these knowledge and urgency neurons that just prevented lot of recovery efforts. the space i occupy need i maintain for others; otherwise i shall be dumped ... fine i still choose my innocence.
i am being irrational and unreasonable. i am risking. am i? i have dumped all my knowledge and urgency neuron.
the reason is no reason
there is very little point talking about my past now. the reason, there is nothing hidden to discover. there was never anybody else but me. no rhea das i started talking about. i was nobody's favorite but i had many favorites. it many be curious for me to know if any was at all very curious about me. i in fact do exercises not to be curious these days. not open letter. not enquire about my near relations... i wait for query if any to be answered all by themselves. if not it is okay. i have come to know of existence of so many names and related concepts that i am hard worked to find out what one is.
one of the name i am fond of; and often i have my own concept about the same ~ neuron. on my drive to library i got to think about my very long tenure of sleeps. today i was struggling remain awake the whole day. barely two hours back i got up but while driving i felt very sleep. i cannot even conveniently sleep in the library since it is about closing time. my home is long drive. i started thinking about one neuron called sleep. one neuron that was the first called innocent. no neuron can destroy this first neuron without knowledge. even sleep can be destroyed and so is every other neuron. any knowledge neuron is offspring with a bit of knowledge. the mother is everlasting. this innocent neuron is very interesting. it has no reason! every other neuron has reasons: one when it became; any number of others to become more learned.
i am still awake it is about three hours now and i am very hungry to sleep. i took several cups of tea. i solved amy inter related knowledge problems arose from 'can't find' or 'can't remember'; that took about one hour. i have as much possible stopped manufacturing curiosity neurons. i need sleep more than i need. i need to remain asleep many days at time. it is currently flooding day limits. i do not know how would i manage sleep if exceed days. more than 24 hours could be anything ~ it might as well be more than 48 hours 72 hours who knows then how many hours. my sleep then force the earth to rotate taking any number of hours; who knows? where is the witness when i myself is missing all the while !
fell asleep after two hours urgency neurons woke me up. for a while i could not follow what is urgency! nearby knowledge neuron suggested tank overflow!!!
on the way to innocence am i going to dismantle all these knowledge and urgency neurons that just prevented lot of recovery efforts. the space i occupy need i maintain for others; otherwise i shall be dumped ... fine i still choose my innocence.
i am being irrational and unreasonable. i am risking. am i? i have dumped all my knowledge and urgency neuron.
the reason is no reason
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