market place

internet makes it easy to sell and buy commodities you may have.

all are not farmers buying or selling live stocks grains vegetables
some are traders selling groceries
some are processors of ready goods for consumption
some are suppliers of cooking materials daily wears cosmetics reading and writing materials
some selling automation locomotion property transportation entertainment ....
we avail all these paying for usage of internet to the provider

however most of our time we spend exchanging some commodity over internet that is not for sell to earn money

we sell and buy friendship honor popularity in the market place provided by facebook instagram whatsapp and they do not charge for our use

i am retired not earning money but spend lot of my wakeful idle hours using internet writing for some blog and facebook
initially i was thinking that i am doing good for many
teaching people how to be happy with themselves
soon i found out that i am fooling myself
i am cheating others and trying to buy honor for myself

it is impossible to fool oneself indefinitely for long time
the joy is missing
honor is missing
input is missing
attention is missing

i am unable to provide joy to anyone reading me

i do not enjoy my creativity

long ago i traveled to a place around a stream between two cliffs and there is a ropeway joining them both
it was summer time and there was mad rush towards that place
we booked a place near the rocky origin of the stream and it was impossible commute by car
there was a very busy market place with about 100 shops for food drinks local goods and souvenirs 
selling community is the only residents of this place and the rests being hotels and lodges
nothing to do all visitors are compelled to walk and down the stream endlessly and enter the same shop many times
there is nothing new and nothing to learn and nothing new to eat or drink
one has tasted all foods and visited all shops
staying at hotel watching and listening to the same stream endlessly was not escape from boredom
i walked into boredom after long strenuous drive of 7 hours
i sank myself into boredom for next few days

govinda and gautami were a couple from shantiniketan who traveled to tibet and stayed there for many years in cold and extremities
i recently procured some of their writings and photographs

is it test of endurance ~ waiting for death that too does not come
waiting over one returns back again among people
where else can one go but people ~ my concepts

irrespective of place age time and surrounding ~ it is me always ~ i cannot escape me