self sufficiency

i lived without food for about 10 days
i was not in a position to move out in the world and i did not
my neighbor gave me some electoral my sister fetched me out and gave me food and care
it is unpayable debt i have towards my sister
i am of no use to her when she is living alone in delhi

self is all
it is not by assumption
but i have failed to extricate any from me

i may not expect but things arrive from unknown source and gets me food water shelter bed and warmth

self is none
simile is not right
it is the lamp that reveal my world
how long i do not know
several times in a day
my world disappear

how to prove self sufficiency to none else but me

proof is in my seeing my absence and my hearing of my silence ~ withdrawn now

i am waiting yes waiting for ever yes i have to wait till i am with pure self and self only and nothing else .... i must see him always i must feel him always i must hear him always .... always

deleting and forgetting me from my world for ever ~ আমার প্রকাশ নেই আমার প্রকাশের কোনো অধিকার নেই  ~ শুধু চেয়ে চেয়ে দেখা শুধু বসে বসে শোনা  ধরবার উপায় নেই ছোঁয়ার ও উপায় নেই  ~ স্থিরকে অস্থির করার  কোনো  অধিকার আমাকে দেওয়া হয়নি আর হবে ও না 

আমার মঞ্চে ঢোকা  মানা