dilly dallying

I have been talking but not practicing
and i don't like this double standard
today one recruiter started bothering me from 7:30 morning
once i accepted i am committed
i called me for many hours
interview is done but then i do not like to talk about interviews
it is the whole gang of bluffers
by now in last 3 months i had 5 hcl interviews 6 cognizant interviews 3 l&t interviews 5 infosys interviews 4 wipro interviews 4 capgemini interviews 5 tech mahindra interview
tcs ibm accenture deloitte so also local state of ohio interviews
i do not take calls

i do not mind interview it really does not matter for me
however i know the hourly rate i am asking is infeasible by them
when i was working for infosys they told me so
their max hourly rate is 100 and i am asking 100 remote
and they let me go
they could not afford my full time salary
i am not looking to do full time either

this time the recruiter changed his number and i picked the phone
he was asking about interview
i gave my piece of mind
i told him as it is i do not mind interview
but i hate diagnosis about my interview
5/3rd bank cannot pay my rate
the bank is looking for its sale
they have already sold half of their business
credit card operation
i asked l&t how many more interviews are required
already usa government has 1 million employee that they are unable to salary
because of budget
all the companies would not have new budget till february middle
why they are wasting their time
it is because they have nothing to do

frankly I would like not to talk no matter what
and whoever be speaker
it is not required that i must even be patient enough to listen
I must remain mute
not listening
not talking
not reciprocating
and not comprehending
and absent

i need take a vow of silence and keep it for my life time
I must not even show any sign of comprehension of my surrounding that requires me to express

silence is my expression to undergo all loss including my life
i must conquer my world
i must recover my honor

I remember Cole
he does not talk
yesterday i took him out for a walk
once he opened his mouth to make simulated noise of cars on the road
i try telling him lot of things some he follows and obeys
but otherwise he keeps silence
he watches tv and he is rather fond of it
he is most fond of is phone
he is very attentive to ringing and immediately hands over the phone
otherwise his expression is waiting and fun games
i believe he does not wish to imitate like most children do
except for car sound
long ago he tried to make sounds such as mammma dadada
but not recently

today i have to learn to be like Cole
omit all reasons to talk
and do

following Cole I reach infinity
i do not like ever to return to land of people

bye bye land of words

And recollections