the light
the light that that lit every moment of light for 70 years ever since i was born. i had to clean the surface light everyday for last 50 years. i learnt this first time from stuti. when i met her she was a gregarious girl having many friends and not self conscious herself. unlike every other girls at our school. where girls were never seen mixing with boys. in fact her behavior was looked down upon and her parents were called by the warden. stuti came to us about it and i ravi and swami met tadavis at his home. prof. davis realized his mistake but his wife. prof. davis reminded his wife that his son barnard was living with a girl in berkley. barnard was one year senior to me.
abnormal was realized as abnormal. tautology is the cornerstone of truth. celibacy is not.
stuti was very reluctant to share her diaries. there were many of them ever since she was transitioning from a girl to woman. they were her candid disposal of emotions rather excitements. till then my release of excitement were books. i used to devour them every wakeful hours when i am not engaged in games. i used to carry them to class travelling... stuti had different excitement disposal system. music rabindra sangeet nazrul geeti even adhunik. plus diary.
naresh i met when he came to study mstat. he was one year senior to me and not very intimate friend. he is most sincere person i met in my life. he would do what is in his capacity to do and never look for indebtedness. in a way similar to kamal my brother but yet different. kamal did not carry any obligation promise or commitment. he did not have future. naresh undertook to arrange for one months stay for about 30 of us during our cso training in delhi. he picked us up from railway station and we ate in his place dinner. he took us individually to where we were to stay. next morning we arrived at our training center in time. ever since i have not another person like him. i took advantage of him thereafter many times. at baroda when i arrived for interview with three other person i spent the night with him staying in one room with already two other persons. he accommodated nayan acharya when he visited baroda with chhorda, kamal. he sent all my books by his factory truck when i went to hyderabad.
writing is the form of yoga now i know called gyan yoga. it is cleaning of soot that that accumulates on the glass jar covering the lamp and makes hazy of the surrounding objects it is supposed to reveal. this is no honor but necessity. how does one know that the vision has no clarity and needs cleaning?
one knows when one is seeking another shoulder to cry or listen to stories of loss or cheating or disappointments. one is expecting!
there never is future. future is my kernel self. the lamp. lamp is always. it casts no shadow or soot and no future or ghost. lamp is pure light that lights my world here and now.
no shade of memory and future ~ committed not to use memory ~ committed not to expect or predict ~ both are not my necessity
seer is sight
abnormal was realized as abnormal. tautology is the cornerstone of truth. celibacy is not.
stuti was very reluctant to share her diaries. there were many of them ever since she was transitioning from a girl to woman. they were her candid disposal of emotions rather excitements. till then my release of excitement were books. i used to devour them every wakeful hours when i am not engaged in games. i used to carry them to class travelling... stuti had different excitement disposal system. music rabindra sangeet nazrul geeti even adhunik. plus diary.
naresh i met when he came to study mstat. he was one year senior to me and not very intimate friend. he is most sincere person i met in my life. he would do what is in his capacity to do and never look for indebtedness. in a way similar to kamal my brother but yet different. kamal did not carry any obligation promise or commitment. he did not have future. naresh undertook to arrange for one months stay for about 30 of us during our cso training in delhi. he picked us up from railway station and we ate in his place dinner. he took us individually to where we were to stay. next morning we arrived at our training center in time. ever since i have not another person like him. i took advantage of him thereafter many times. at baroda when i arrived for interview with three other person i spent the night with him staying in one room with already two other persons. he accommodated nayan acharya when he visited baroda with chhorda, kamal. he sent all my books by his factory truck when i went to hyderabad.
writing is the form of yoga now i know called gyan yoga. it is cleaning of soot that that accumulates on the glass jar covering the lamp and makes hazy of the surrounding objects it is supposed to reveal. this is no honor but necessity. how does one know that the vision has no clarity and needs cleaning?
one knows when one is seeking another shoulder to cry or listen to stories of loss or cheating or disappointments. one is expecting!
there never is future. future is my kernel self. the lamp. lamp is always. it casts no shadow or soot and no future or ghost. lamp is pure light that lights my world here and now.
no shade of memory and future ~ committed not to use memory ~ committed not to expect or predict ~ both are not my necessity
seer is sight
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