doubt

till there is a single doubt in me about my absoluteness i am not absolute.

it is very difficult for me to believe that about 70 years back
i was born for one reason alone to discover me ~ the absolute.

all that has been constructed
my world
the forest of trees places objects people books
all bads all events and all failures all unavoidable thoughts that tormented me
the very public me
very carefully constructed moment by moment with senses however limited
and did not happen random or chance occurrence
but cleverly created by private me.

that remains absolute for 70 years and does not age and does not change now

it is very difficult to believe that there is nothing random. every moment is designed created exactly for my terrestrial me to make me realize i am an illusion in the illusion world surrounding me.

it is very difficult to believe that every thought is not my thought but that of absolute me intended to teach me who i am.

i am absolute. alone and unique and without ancestor or predecessor. single.

rest must necessarily never be true even for a fraction of time! had there been even one of the uncountable moments is true, a speck of light, i shall be confused and forever be thinking.

and be myself doubtless!

in case i know, except i am absolute, i am not me. impossible.

do i doubt my world not an illusion?