susanta da

my association has ended with all known human in Columbus. this morning i was informed demise of susanta da who was in hospital for about a month. he was joya's best friend's husband. they were insisting me to go along with them to kolkata. but my india has died. this morning joya got the message from his daughter. he bought a mercedes luxury car about two months back and shortly after that he had a fall and his bones gave away. last week i took his wife for weekly groceries and greens shopping from indian chinese shops. she said that he was just silent and watching. for last 5 years we were eating kali puja celebration at his place when 300 guests used to eat dinner and prasad at his place. in his insistence i used to go there but i informed him that i do not believe in the intention of puja. it is false devotion but greedy display of hunger for money. I could no longer tolerate. for many years i attended kali puja celebration yet again performed by pranab da. he was husband of then best friend of joya. this year i came to know of diwali from greetings received from kanti sayeed there was no invitation from anyone.
i stood there silently seeing sipradi being consoled. nothing reaching the relation who was perhaps center of her all past present future and now future and present gone. jugalbandi has ended but it is on play in her mind alone.
it does not reach the dead whatever you may do. tomorrow at 3 to 5 pm rituals shall be accomplished at some funeral home i am told.
about two months back sipradi informed joya regarding susanta da's fall. joya consoled hr saying that he would return home recovering completely. last evening joya was consoling her saying all is for good.
what really is need for words. when the meaning is one and only one ~ joy supreme. i stood there in the vicinity just like a piece of timber. wondering sometimes where really is the center of gravity. me or the center of earth. neither.

joya was calling me. in the last backend sofa i dozed off at susantada's funeral ritual. she wished to return home. on her way home i stopped at the gas station. when i returned she was talking to her sister. sipradi was devastated. miserable. this is the second time i was at this funeral home. susanta da too was there. i also occupied the same backseat. he came sat with me for a while.