remembering sonada

sonada my second eldest brother is a very curious character. he was obsessed with one characteristic that he must win. every situation that he was in would be converted to declare himself as winner.

it always blew out. my mother and my eldest brother borda are exceptions. it blew out with my father too. it did not blew out with me either. i would in fact carry him forward towards his perceived win ~ of course false! and show himself that he was bragging even when he was defeated.
my brother kamal came after his masters at isi to live with us in shillong. sonada was living with satyada his friend for many years. satyada was totally opposite of sonada and he was totally silent. he would never reveal himself but puffing away his cigarettes. when alone he would pull up one volume of vivekananda from his collection of 13 and start reading. there was no question of having a fight with him. only game they played together was bridge when there are 4 persons. never ever chess.

chess was most favorite game of sonada. i learnt not to play with him. by now i was very accustomed to his going back at least 20 or more steps of his when he was about to lose to a situation when he had a winning chance. but who remembers the board 20 pairs of moves back by either players. it was his choice. i knew the game would not be over till he was winner. then he would pat my back and declare i was a goodplayer.

he brought his game and started his play with chhorda when he reached shillong after one week. there was a flood and disruption of railways. he had to navigate ride bus and walk till he reached shillong. but nightmare of chess game waited. the moment sonada tried to go back to 20 moves when he had possible chance to win; chhorda intervened. it is not allowed in chess! sonada burst out. How could it be so? Am I not elder brother? I can't have this privilege. This did not go with Chhorda. He is very very straight forward. A mathematician by birth and occupation furthermore he was broad enough not to seek no honor ever for his genius or deeds; but he would not bend any rules of a game ever!! There after he did not have any conversation with Sonada ever during his lifetime.

Same was with my father. Among his sons sonada was only married during his life. He went to meet his daughter in law and grandson in Shillong before meeting us in kolkata. I too went to Shillong to fetch him. In my presence there was a mishap of Oil spill from groceries bought by Sonada. He lost his temper and started abusing his wife. Instinctively my father intervened. The ire then flowed against my father abusing him being irresponsible for his family. It was end of affairs. I never heard anymore dialog between them during life time of my father.

My mother knew this son of her. She knew that he had to win always. When money is the measure he would optimize his spending and have best from his spending. She lived with him in shillong for two years. He would order her for all kinds of food but would not give her money. She would take that from his pocket. whenever he would be living with her, She would insist him to buy and do marketing himself. I remember one incident she told me. After Kakoo's death sonada would not visit their place although he lived there for many years. she insisted he must go at once and he would not go. by now chhorda knew the reason. after listening to this altercation with ma, he ordered ma to give him money to buy whatever is needed to be done as per her wisdom!

borda too knew the nature of his younger brother. he did whatever he could and whenever he could for the family. nights they used to sleep in the same room. there would loud intricate analysis and arguments would be laid out by sonada. borda would declare him winner. thereafter one could hear him soundly snoring.

gopal by virtue of his name was lifelong sufi saint. he loved human of all kinds animals of all kinds plants of all kinds ~ always giving and not seeking. sometime in teen he met masima then doing BED in kolkata at kakoo's place. he committed to masima to stand by her and support her three children. she was widow. despite all reluctance from ma, he gave away his life to masima's support. it is human nature not to be grateful and she was not ever except in my presence. she always talked ill of him. dada departed earliest amongst us in his fifties. he took voluntary retirement. Didi was about two years senior to him and was the first one to get married. His was first job but he contributed most for this marriage and did all arrangement free of cost. But sonada had to win as always. He started abusing Dada saying he was the quitter. While he was struggling day in and out two weeks for this marriage. Sonada only came for the occasion and usual spinning his web of tales. Dada left the place. Never again attended any marriage in our home. Although masima was always present. Masima told me clearly that she does not believe in spending money in feeding public for any social occasion. she never did. she died at the 97 recently, i wonder there was funeral rites after her death. When ma died dada was present again for all the deeds ~ funeral etc. There was a procession of his devoted friends making pilgrimage to this occasion. Sonada again started the altercation by saying Dada was the quitter. sonada had to win in every occasion even in death! Dada was very agitated and sad. he was expressing himself to chhorda; chhorda was mute. I was present and i blurted out. science tells me there are three bones that beats the eardrum causing us to hear. it does not matter if anyone is saying anything only what is needed to tickle these bones.
All is in mind of none else but mine. Incidentally without making any discrimination dada gave away all his money to his siblings and other assets were appropriated by masima's children.
ONE CAN NEVER BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ONE'S WORLD. one must learn this in one's own lifetime otherwise it gets carried over to next.