কি করে করি

how can i make mistake?

i can only make mistake if only i am given the scope?

when no scope is given to anyone to make or do anything ~ everyone and everything is correct always. it is same monotonous living.

last few days i am just watching bengali interviews in you tube and watching films. as soon as i recollect that i have watched it earlier i withdraw. i saw many hours of samia rahman rituparna etc. slowly i was without any interest. then there were many discussions on rituparna after his death. i strangely was moved sometimes. i remember about 8 years back i came across a serial of his on tagore perhaps. i enjoyed it lot. the name was ganer opare or something. i was moved. 

strangely although i am very addicted to satyajit ray movies but i had not seen his apu trilogy. i did not have guts to view them. i have gone through very deep grief and i do not wish to go through the same again. even today when i am so fond of the children, i take care not to be attached or go near them. i cannot bear the separation.

i no longer can think myself lucky. i know i am dummy and i have to bear every moment given to me without option.

the creator is there and he does not trust his creation to be even diffe one moment unintended or random.