allergy

another word

it is about 8 days i am suffering from inflammation. after my horrible dinner at a graduation party. i have breathing problem. something is pushing up my throat. as of now not leaving.

other things continues; i cannot take sun at all. i start seeing bluish purple patches and i have to wear polaroid and hat. i could not do whatever i promised my guests. i am yet to recover.

i am struggling to remain top. not yet top at my last step. my hands are above the stairs but body still is in stairs.

why do i write for whose benefit?

it is mine. i am getting to know me. i am able to extricate me at each step of my stairs that i am climbing against the gravitational pull of my body. my lonely struggle to survive with nothing.

superstition has no remedy

i met my mother in law before marriage and before anybody of in laws family. she asked me to turn around and keep my both hands at my back and do not see what is happening. she took my hands put five coins and washed my palms with curd and water and wiped. my in laws were convinced of my defects; and it has not left them till today among the living members including joya my wife. it is permanent in their family; and it is impossible for me to show them of their total mental blindness.

is allergy my superstition?

i know the remedy to my superstitions:

i do not participate and there is no reason to experiment either to find out about me or anyone ~ even i do not experiment with my own existence or any others.

is the roof i am climbing every day one step - my hands and head is in the roof level but my body is still in stairs