yogesh agarwal

his father in law was auditor general of india and he lived in his palace in new friends colony in second floor. he was btech from kanpur iit and studied mba in some ivy league university. he was married to a beautiful woman and had two daughters and a son. he was very intelligent and would have a story with some deep meaning. i was there in delhi for couple days to rent a flat for bringing my family. i was staying in a hotel. yogesh invited me to a dinner at his place after office. i met his family. at the dinner table among his three children he started spinning a story from his life. there was a pin drop silence in the table none was looking but waiting for the end ~ it was about some incidence from his life ~ suddenly the eldest daughter interrupted him ~ such a long winded story was needed you could have told me not to waste food. we would some time go hunting for projects from prospective clients after the meeting he would analyze where possibly we went wrong.

he was about 5 years senior to me and far more knowledgeable and business like. he was quick to assess the situation and looked into all aspects of the business and made very quick decision to quit. he was from delhi and well to do family with lot of connections. for me i had a family and with no finance and support from my family. i came from calcutta and exhausted all my savings from fiascos from serial job loss. i had to go through the uncertainties for 4 plus years till i was not getting paid for months. but yogesh proposed to me a software business and he formalized it with registration etc. anyway things did not progress and our relationship ended.

i met him once or twice at several places afterwards.

why i am writing this?

i am looking to answer a question what is future?

there is nothing called future now i know ~ it is always present. that is you may be uncertain and suffer from uncertainty but suffering if any never in different time but always now. all the suffering is from how complex you yourself are. how many direction you yourself engaged in trying to improve yourself. it is unfortunate that you alone is the victim.

only a few hours back i was reading an interview by bill gate. he is worth $108 billion and he is micro managing his finance for so called gate foundation for philanthropic purposes ~ poverty removable and health in countries worldwide. he may be busy 24 hours a day and travelling far away places such as bihar kenya or guatemala but his money is useless to make any change to even person in the world including himself. he shall remain turmoiled self himself and suffering without any peace of mind unless he receives his own blessing. that does not come from any philanthropic deeds but renunciation.

unlimited infinity is not comparable to finite $108 billion. one is forever plagued with problem of saving the wealth and it unbearable pain. while it is not possible to lose infinite in any finite time or finite activities. there is no worry since the resource is infinite.

the only theorem of life that is infallible: always true in every moment of my life.
"i see what i think and i have to see that."

if i think me infinite then i shall see all is infinite and they are not waiting to be supported

they are self supported if i need no support myself

there is nothing but me. when i am absent all is absent. 

is not absent ~ infinity unlimited immortal paradise? 

it is not my hypothesis even though it does not matter if that be ~ i am the single owner of infinity all resources time space and wealth now and always

আমার আলোতে জগৎ আলো । যে আমি নেই ~সেই  সদাই আমি । আমার বলার লেখার করার ভাবার দেখা শোনার কোনো দরকার নেই।।

সব অবান্তর।।

যদি কখনো আমি হই  বড়  ~ জগৎ  তখন বড়ই  কালো । ভয় ভয় শুধুই ভয় । ভাবনা ভাবনা ভবিষ্যতের ভাবনা । আর ভাবনাটা সত্যি।