noton
the name is a kind of all white pigeon and the name they derived from their ability to dance
i lived for first 10 years with my next door neighbor nagesh chakravorty of my life; and i was fortunate to meet some of his brothers. dhruva was staying with him for several years till he left. he used to spend lot of time with me explaining double meaning of sound, deriving meaning from context. then nagesh da got married to a beautiful lady who never came outdoor and even meet us next door. nagesh da was very reserved. he would listen to radio but in a whisper that even neighbors could not listen. he would go out in the morning in a bicycle for office and come back in the evening with some bazar tied in a handkerchief. he did not even carry a bag.
noton was their son. not allowed to play with any children i went to play with noton some days indoor. i was welcome by his mother. sometime i took noton out to our verandah but his mother kept a close watch from a dark window and listening. when noton went to school he went to a very far away school - english medium. his pedigree was different.
i went in different ways and did not hear much about them. noton grew up and was teaching some child as a private tutor. mother of the child told us noton was not shy and would ask for fees at the end of the month. later on i heard another story and i had no way to know its truth value. nagesh da it seems lost temporary balance and assumed himself gm of his office.
perceived adverse environment may not be possible to keep away from during all of one's life
i cannot theorize and i must not, since my world is my perspective; different from the world, if any that may exist before time to end of time
my world is completely hypothetical of truth value zero, that is impossible to exist
start of my time clock started at my birth and shall end at my death ; but includes history as written in words that i devoured in many languages or from words of mouth or in black and white read from books and in color and films dvd and internet ~ all definitely misunderstood by me
in my life time i was very fortunate to meet one buddha who did not possess the assumption i ordinarily assume as must for my existence
my musts are food shelter clothes money - the minimum i need for one day of my survival
this buddha i saw, did not have none of these presumptions of mine; yet living and normal in every way
he did not have money clothes food or shelter yet clean and in a atmosphere of cleanliness and beauty in an environment of cold with perfect faculty for communication - reading writing recognizing and understanding
he was not mad but perfectly sane and talked as an elderly person full of respect to one younger man from distant land; he did not need to be explained the presumption i have is not necessarily universal; it is very much dependent of time place and people; he knew my reason for my pilgrimage to see him
he just addressed that problem of mine in a very brief three or four sentences without being asked; and he went back to his writing letters to some queries he had before him
he is an example without him saying that; he is universal and not limited by my presumptions or my time
last six months, i am groping with my physical inability; i have added another assumption that i am sick and need daily medication of insulin
instead of going one step forward to become universal i have become diabetic
i am a monkey trying to scale a oiled bamboo pole; and now have slipped to the bottom
i am without any doubt not at home and very far away from home ~ of being self-sufficient
i need now civilisation to survive
i do not possess the strength of my mind to eliminate any assumption about my being and thereby i define my daily necessity
availability of my daily necessities define my happiness and feelings for that day
what is that pole i am determined to climb and cannot abandon
i lived for first 10 years with my next door neighbor nagesh chakravorty of my life; and i was fortunate to meet some of his brothers. dhruva was staying with him for several years till he left. he used to spend lot of time with me explaining double meaning of sound, deriving meaning from context. then nagesh da got married to a beautiful lady who never came outdoor and even meet us next door. nagesh da was very reserved. he would listen to radio but in a whisper that even neighbors could not listen. he would go out in the morning in a bicycle for office and come back in the evening with some bazar tied in a handkerchief. he did not even carry a bag.
noton was their son. not allowed to play with any children i went to play with noton some days indoor. i was welcome by his mother. sometime i took noton out to our verandah but his mother kept a close watch from a dark window and listening. when noton went to school he went to a very far away school - english medium. his pedigree was different.
i went in different ways and did not hear much about them. noton grew up and was teaching some child as a private tutor. mother of the child told us noton was not shy and would ask for fees at the end of the month. later on i heard another story and i had no way to know its truth value. nagesh da it seems lost temporary balance and assumed himself gm of his office.
perceived adverse environment may not be possible to keep away from during all of one's life
i cannot theorize and i must not, since my world is my perspective; different from the world, if any that may exist before time to end of time
my world is completely hypothetical of truth value zero, that is impossible to exist
start of my time clock started at my birth and shall end at my death ; but includes history as written in words that i devoured in many languages or from words of mouth or in black and white read from books and in color and films dvd and internet ~ all definitely misunderstood by me
in my life time i was very fortunate to meet one buddha who did not possess the assumption i ordinarily assume as must for my existence
my musts are food shelter clothes money - the minimum i need for one day of my survival
this buddha i saw, did not have none of these presumptions of mine; yet living and normal in every way
he did not have money clothes food or shelter yet clean and in a atmosphere of cleanliness and beauty in an environment of cold with perfect faculty for communication - reading writing recognizing and understanding
he was not mad but perfectly sane and talked as an elderly person full of respect to one younger man from distant land; he did not need to be explained the presumption i have is not necessarily universal; it is very much dependent of time place and people; he knew my reason for my pilgrimage to see him
he just addressed that problem of mine in a very brief three or four sentences without being asked; and he went back to his writing letters to some queries he had before him
he is an example without him saying that; he is universal and not limited by my presumptions or my time
last six months, i am groping with my physical inability; i have added another assumption that i am sick and need daily medication of insulin
instead of going one step forward to become universal i have become diabetic
i am a monkey trying to scale a oiled bamboo pole; and now have slipped to the bottom
i am without any doubt not at home and very far away from home ~ of being self-sufficient
i need now civilisation to survive
i do not possess the strength of my mind to eliminate any assumption about my being and thereby i define my daily necessity
availability of my daily necessities define my happiness and feelings for that day
what is that pole i am determined to climb and cannot abandon
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