my time
most of my time i have been spending last 70 years ~ not earning but doing what i love most ~ reading or writing. they open my senses into another person's world and view point. however i do not enjoy any motivated writing drawing attention to one's prejudice. i am not interested to know nor imagine. i cannot stop such writing but certainly would like to avoid reading them. they are self inflicted pain to me that i can easily avoid. my interest in news thus is very reduced and i hardly follow them. two countries of interest to me are no longer is of my interest. initially i was drawn to criticizing prejudice. but now i do not do that. if somebody hypothesize that by distributing money poverty can be eliminated and famine can be solved ~ I do not read those literature.
i instead like not to hypothesize or ask others to follow me.
no matter whatever was my earlier viewpoints; today i am reluctant to make any suggestion to change my world; rather i would not mind if none in my world is changed and continue to be same. i must be happy with all and whatever they are engaged in doing. i remain unaffected by their doing and i must remain happy no matter what. now.
i seem to know the secret of happiness. hence i write to say there is a way one can be really happy always. recognizing the creator and accepting his creation without criticism
where is the reason for unhappiness.
the reason for unhappiness is me and my inability to accept my own situation by my evaluation; despite knowing that it is entirely false and cannot be consider a premise for any prediction or calculation.
it so happens that thinking mind needs an assumption that is mother of all assumptions. this root thought must necessarily be true to make all assumptions to be true.
when simply stated it shall not go deep into consciousness of anyone. at least it did not for me at least 35 years back.
in 1982, after coming back from Bahrain i wished to rethink my world. i have done this several time before. i continue to do the same. my brother kamal in his characteristic casualness spoke a sentence that i overheard but struck me. during this time of course i used to write pages after pages my own thoughts.
"it is best to have faith unquestionable in creator." i was then of course in great doubt about uniqueness or even existence of creator.
in the event there is no creator my situation is not in my control but remains under control of any BUT ME. I was not prepared to accept that. I preferred to be away from all and not interested to get upset by anyone and go into offtrack.
i did not understand then, that my situation and my mental state then was a deliberate creation who ever created me. That was just waiting to see that i find my way to him.
My brother kamal called me romantic before he died. He was very accurate. I have a romantic view of the world with an end of happiness for here and after. I had no strength of achieving the same all by myself without help. I ASSUMED COOPERATION AND COLLABORATION.
I never realized under the sky of the creator such assumptions do not exist. grief is always my creation.
My brothers last words for me are these without mincing words - precise very precise directed to me and consoling me:
Your romantic outcome did not happen. Do not be frustrated. My health has not improved from treatment. I would not give up till my end. Respect my holy struggle. My mind is under total control. all is alright.
I know now ~ he was describing his faith in his creator and the destiny. there is no scope for his feelings unless it is holy ~ the will of creator.
I am home ~ i have all no exception ~ all holy ~ i have to accept and agree in silence
is there any alternative to me?
i instead like not to hypothesize or ask others to follow me.
no matter whatever was my earlier viewpoints; today i am reluctant to make any suggestion to change my world; rather i would not mind if none in my world is changed and continue to be same. i must be happy with all and whatever they are engaged in doing. i remain unaffected by their doing and i must remain happy no matter what. now.
i seem to know the secret of happiness. hence i write to say there is a way one can be really happy always. recognizing the creator and accepting his creation without criticism
where is the reason for unhappiness.
the reason for unhappiness is me and my inability to accept my own situation by my evaluation; despite knowing that it is entirely false and cannot be consider a premise for any prediction or calculation.
it so happens that thinking mind needs an assumption that is mother of all assumptions. this root thought must necessarily be true to make all assumptions to be true.
when simply stated it shall not go deep into consciousness of anyone. at least it did not for me at least 35 years back.
in 1982, after coming back from Bahrain i wished to rethink my world. i have done this several time before. i continue to do the same. my brother kamal in his characteristic casualness spoke a sentence that i overheard but struck me. during this time of course i used to write pages after pages my own thoughts.
"it is best to have faith unquestionable in creator." i was then of course in great doubt about uniqueness or even existence of creator.
in the event there is no creator my situation is not in my control but remains under control of any BUT ME. I was not prepared to accept that. I preferred to be away from all and not interested to get upset by anyone and go into offtrack.
i did not understand then, that my situation and my mental state then was a deliberate creation who ever created me. That was just waiting to see that i find my way to him.
My brother kamal called me romantic before he died. He was very accurate. I have a romantic view of the world with an end of happiness for here and after. I had no strength of achieving the same all by myself without help. I ASSUMED COOPERATION AND COLLABORATION.
I never realized under the sky of the creator such assumptions do not exist. grief is always my creation.
My brothers last words for me are these without mincing words - precise very precise directed to me and consoling me:
Your romantic outcome did not happen. Do not be frustrated. My health has not improved from treatment. I would not give up till my end. Respect my holy struggle. My mind is under total control. all is alright.
I know now ~ he was describing his faith in his creator and the destiny. there is no scope for his feelings unless it is holy ~ the will of creator.
I am home ~ i have all no exception ~ all holy ~ i have to accept and agree in silence
is there any alternative to me?
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