love

love certainly derives meaning from its opposite hate

is not then hate is love and love is hate?

two offsprings of innocent ignorant me

unless i already know hate i cannot perhaps know love

can ever objects of my love and my hate disappear

yes them have to when i am determined not to leave my home

compulsions or reason may be many
physical inability
mental inability to perceive change in my environment
inability to perceive now as is

my boro dada spoke once about his love
he said that he loves his family and it is his blindness and he perceives no wrong

i believe him because i personally witnessed this behavior of him every time i met him
my second eldest brother is argumentative
he always is right and would not stop at that but seek agreement from the person who is wrong

while we would like to avoid him
my boro dada would go to sleep snoring no sooner the second one is making a crucial argument

my boro dada had the concept of unconditional love for his family that consisted of all related to him by blood marriage friendship or familiarity
it is true
he would take trouble to meet them or us travelling long distance seeking nothing for himself
if my mother asked him to do something
it was not debatable and must be done
on the other hand my second brother will find every reason to avoid doing the same unless he is literally forced

my eldest brother regarded his spouse as his savings and spendable for the love of his family
he died one night even without his spouse knowing sleeping next to him
they were childless and now my sister in law is resident of a home for elderly
living silently with no love or regret or no feelings for kinship with anyone
happy with herself no expectation

love i must my world as is without option

what is love?

i cannot destroy my world even if i do not love it any more
my world is halo around my head
similar to the ring saturn carries around itself
saturn is incapable of getting rid of his ring
and i cannot get rid of mine
over the years of my life i have build my halo
my world  ~ all lies ~ illusion
this floats at an untouchable distance
my body my existence my family my reasons my knowledge my life my ... me ....

i am incapable of imagining my world disappearing anytime soon
even when i expect nothing from my world
and doing nothing for my world

i am creator of my world
and the one and only one
love was the only reason for my worlds existence

love is hate and vice versa

now my world is all my lies and all is me ~ non existing shadow of ruins

while me is no logic no belief no expectation no ties no premise

i am irreversible unchangeable absolute ~ i am before all and after all and always same

i am innocent ignorant empty ~ i do not know me ~ the one used to be

Words are all my whispering silence