wait

it is urgent and i cannot wait
it is money and there is fine or loss of interest and i cannot escape
i could save money if only i act immediately

my breathing stops
i rush out to save my money or potential loss

it is urgent and i cannot wait
it is my life and death
unless acted immediately and appropriate manner
i cannot save my organ
it shall become very expensive
i have to chose saving money or saving my organ
either way the gateway to urgencies are open and i cannot close that
while i exist

i have to risk my existence unless i act
i do not like to act
i wait for my end
can i not wait and who stops me from that

my intelligence and i have been using the same ever since i remember

if it is money
no thinking any more
i run to save my money
i cannot wait

time is money
i can buy my waiting time with money
perhaps i am not sure
i have survived all these years being foolish or not so intelligent
who lived better life than me

i do not even like to talk do or think
can i buy my waiting and indefinitely without a time limit
does money or credit unlimited ensures me unlimited waiting time
of course i am limited savings and i cannot afford running meter
i know

toys beads rotating wheels or marbles that i avail free that can take care of all my time
i may play some sound repeatedly all the time till my end
there are so many waiting devices

do i need a device to wait
do i need build a fence to keep away disturbance
do i need moving to avoid flies people or disturbance  all the time
do i need taking drug to recognize disturbance

can i not ignore all urgencies and let them happen
can i not be an idiot or fool
can i not wait now till all leave me and nothing anymore

empty space
list is endless that does not have
me and my world
all people i knew
all things i knew
all people i didn't know
all things i didn't know
all things i had
all things i didn't have

i know that i have to spend everything i have saved to buy passage to empty space
i know i cannot escape or delay this undertaking

i had to go to haaz in this lifetime
now i lost home and cannot return

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