understanding
jealousy supposed to be a thought - why i am not the favorite of God of good fortune instead!
thoughts do enough for the job of reading book. thought is glucose in blood responsible for energy required for quick action. books are like fibers that delays glucose supply to blood.
thoughts are truly energy savings. you go through them and mildly aroused with various emotions anger grief fear ... persisting for long time till no thought or sleep.
what truly the purpose unless it is entertainment to pass the flow of time to relieve me from sleeping all the time. similar to eating when feeling hungry.
for about 35 years my thoughts were centered around my family. however they have been ruining my leisure time with their abuse and constant demand for more and at often time what i would not like to do.
enter an office for only to earn for them.
without my consent joya's elder brother came here and lived for about 3-4 days. i personally do not like to see or hear him. he called my number. how he has it i don't know i just kept holding. after sometime he asked for joya. but one night i saw he was at my home. i am hypersensitive about him. i detest hearing his logic justifying all his evils. i get horrified even now what i witnessed. thereafter it is unthinkable for me to visit or meet him. joya's family along with joya not only is disturbing my peace but they are engaged in doing the same for all my acquaintances and relations. alarmingly now they are trying to visit my house and it has started with her brother. i do not talk with my family unless very urgent perhaps. i cannot bear to hear or see what they are engaged in.
i have no place to withdraw but me.
for sometime joya was asking for my tax return and legal documents and them are required by her. she would come to verbal abuse and use extreme obscene language. trump i saw under no circumstances could be forced to provide tax return to anyone. I refused and told joya that under no circumstances I am going to give this to her. unfortunately i do not have any personal bank account. although she has any number of bank accounts for herself and along with her family. they operate her accounts in India. they even sign and write check and make application of her behalf; remotely they can access my account in US too unless i take care.
Now i realise that i got to have a separate account for myself alone. She is trying to get my tax return from my accountant. he agreed that it cannot be given to her since it has my personal information. next year if she wish to file her own tax return it is OK.
bad things are easy to learn. my family have learnt them all. for my own peace and harmony i learnt not to cooperate only just recently. My son uses my credit card and spending $1000 every month without earning any money. i told him that this credit card i am going to cancel on April 1. he got wild and started abusing me. i asked the credit card back he refused and i canceled the same calling the bank. i was very relieved.
for the first time i felt myself in paradise truly. things are happening and i no longer have to think do decide see hear understand.
illusion is just like air and i am like steel sword! even if i try i cannot oblige.
even if i try my best i cannot compromise with my illusion. i am not part of the illusion. even written words i read wrong and understand wrong.
I do not have to think. i do not have to care. i do not have to do. it shall be taken care always.
automatic.
thoughts do enough for the job of reading book. thought is glucose in blood responsible for energy required for quick action. books are like fibers that delays glucose supply to blood.
thoughts are truly energy savings. you go through them and mildly aroused with various emotions anger grief fear ... persisting for long time till no thought or sleep.
what truly the purpose unless it is entertainment to pass the flow of time to relieve me from sleeping all the time. similar to eating when feeling hungry.
for about 35 years my thoughts were centered around my family. however they have been ruining my leisure time with their abuse and constant demand for more and at often time what i would not like to do.
enter an office for only to earn for them.
without my consent joya's elder brother came here and lived for about 3-4 days. i personally do not like to see or hear him. he called my number. how he has it i don't know i just kept holding. after sometime he asked for joya. but one night i saw he was at my home. i am hypersensitive about him. i detest hearing his logic justifying all his evils. i get horrified even now what i witnessed. thereafter it is unthinkable for me to visit or meet him. joya's family along with joya not only is disturbing my peace but they are engaged in doing the same for all my acquaintances and relations. alarmingly now they are trying to visit my house and it has started with her brother. i do not talk with my family unless very urgent perhaps. i cannot bear to hear or see what they are engaged in.
i have no place to withdraw but me.
for sometime joya was asking for my tax return and legal documents and them are required by her. she would come to verbal abuse and use extreme obscene language. trump i saw under no circumstances could be forced to provide tax return to anyone. I refused and told joya that under no circumstances I am going to give this to her. unfortunately i do not have any personal bank account. although she has any number of bank accounts for herself and along with her family. they operate her accounts in India. they even sign and write check and make application of her behalf; remotely they can access my account in US too unless i take care.
Now i realise that i got to have a separate account for myself alone. She is trying to get my tax return from my accountant. he agreed that it cannot be given to her since it has my personal information. next year if she wish to file her own tax return it is OK.
bad things are easy to learn. my family have learnt them all. for my own peace and harmony i learnt not to cooperate only just recently. My son uses my credit card and spending $1000 every month without earning any money. i told him that this credit card i am going to cancel on April 1. he got wild and started abusing me. i asked the credit card back he refused and i canceled the same calling the bank. i was very relieved.
for the first time i felt myself in paradise truly. things are happening and i no longer have to think do decide see hear understand.
illusion is just like air and i am like steel sword! even if i try i cannot oblige.
even if i try my best i cannot compromise with my illusion. i am not part of the illusion. even written words i read wrong and understand wrong.
I do not have to think. i do not have to care. i do not have to do. it shall be taken care always.
automatic.
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