love

love is a word with meaning for me.

i imagine an extremely beautiful person unknown to me has time unlimited for me and i am welcome and not antagonistic or criticising me.

Cole I love he is ever smiling and seeking to play with me and has no urgency to do anything. I again feel sad about Cole although he is perfectly happy with me but I am not. He does not like when I ask or demand vocal response from him. He does not like it. My game with him is not complete unless he speaks. I become sad that he is falling behind in learning language and the many aspects of language used for communications. ability to recreate melody rhymes words and meaning. not that cole does not understand meanings of words or unable to know different sounds. he does understand. but he preference several level pitches and duration of one sound -unh. some times long ago i heard emitting sound of passing car. i heard him calling me once uncle. i have heard him baba and mama god when last. while he like toys. learning toys and magic toys. knowing toys. he bargains eating for games. he would eat if only you are playing with him. i have seen animal at Columbus zoo does the opposite. they play with you in exchange of food.

Cole however shows better control of body when playing with balls. not that everybody has to be pundit of language ~ orator singer. one need not talk at all but excel in soccer basketball snooker tennis etc.

what is love and meaning of love for me. there is one little girl the youngest one. whenever she sees me she would come as fast as she can and climb on me. I have to play with her. she is unbelievably beautiful and enticing me with her smile. she would cling to me and refuse to go without me. same as Cole. Cole is very sad when I leave.

my heartbroken once irreparably once cicilia was disappointed by joya for some error she committed that was unforgivable for joya. she made it a show to her mother that she did not want to be here. i have seen such behavior from joya many many times.

i do not approve of her. in fact i am waiting for her to go to india forever and quit this money business. she loves one and only one thing - money. children care is without any love for children. this is a disease in herfamily. i do not think it is hereditary it is not genetic but epidemic caused by environment. I have seen in gujarat. money is the decision maker for a gujarati in their every moment of their life. while every indian looking to benefit and it does not stop them harming another person. it is intolerable for me when see the person is a physician.

i love not to be hurt. i stay away from people including children. i do not like to see them abused.

i love and i would like to love every moment of my life.