bottom line ~ the river Saraswati

my consciousness has three parts:

bottom line ~ the river Saraswati

below bottom line

above bottom line

at the bottom line i have no need and i am in harmony with both sides of me
i am silent
i know that i don't know ~ knowledge of truth ~ peace

below bottom line is truth
by saying that I mean
it is always
it is unchangeable
i am absent
i don't know ~ truth

above bottom line it is false
by saying this i mean
it is transient and lesser than moment duration
passing thought or imagination or game i play with myself only
it is my noise reaction intolerance indigestion pretense or any word
it has no meaning no consequence no cause
its cause is one and only one
my false identification with my past imaginations ~ my memory
ego
i know ~ falsehood ~ blindness to the reality that i don't know and i assume ~ excitement
it is impossible to survive above the bottom line even for a moment
it causes my need my expectation my activity

Question:
do i have the ability to navigate between three status of mine or it is completely out of my control or in the control of truth or absent me?

It is not under my conscious control but under control of my absent self.
in other words. i have no ability to modify my world even though it is entirely false.
non material.
illusion
fortunately it is less than momentary but with very long echo ~ delusion that lasts for years.
i do not know this knowledge would help me cut down echo.
at the moment i have no control over me or my world - echo
at the moment I am unable to accept my inability to control me 
I am unable to stop repeating my thinking my words my deeds 
echos

echos cannot create truth ~ no perception is ever duplicate ~ without cause without consequence
sanity must prevail ~ never expect repetition