harmony ~ sanity practice
[when I know it is hopeless]
I cannot be irrational and expect. I have to restrict my experiment to this moment only.
I must observe my ability to remain prefect hands off and maintain pin drop breathless silence with all my senses open and perceiving, here and now.
Besides all is me as is It is quite inconceivable to eliminate all easier alternative to eliminate me if possible when it is intolerable.
can I ask? Can I get anything from me by asking or searching? There is none and nothing besides me. What is there to ask that I don't know and others know? My way home? What is my home? Where is my home?
Do I have any doubt about this? yes or no. What is the solution?
harmonious silence or disruption with noise.
I had been in Siam - Thailand briefly for one month in Bangkok in 1994. It is ruled by King. Who then had triple citizen ship considering He was born in US and educated in Germany. Siam was never under control any foreign power and its absolute ruler is King for many centuries traditionally they are name after Hindu incarnation Rama. King is and above law. There is civil law - people property belonged to King. King can marry anybody he likes or just make her living with him. Population is a mixture Buddhists and Hindus, basically believer of God and Goddesses.They tackle daily hardship with penance puja and worshiping to overcome impending difficulties. Frequently there is mass protest but they are subdued with force. Firearms belong to army and government agents but not much with politicians. They are easily eliminated. Somehow the country goes through periodic boom and bust. It was some what relief for me that I did not live there for more than one month. All government employees no matter what job they held made money extracting bribe from public and they were rich. So was army and army men. Cycle is about 6 years business prospered and then banks were looted out of wealth by army - health wealth people all belonged to King. King lived in an island with his chiefs and stuff and family. In fights are their among siblings but there was no palace coup. Country is almost watery marshy muddy land. Some farming fishing tourism and foreign investment is chief and only source of income. Bangkok the capital is unbelievably dirty. Its all roads are filled with cars bumper to bumper. People on the road not in the car wear mask to avoid suffocation. Ordinary people if the can afford use motor bike and that is for taxing people around. there is huge filthy canal in the heart of Bangkok. It is horribly smelly. It is the drainage system. It used ferrying people around Bangkok to avoid getting stuck in traffic jam. People in Thailand could have no escape for many many centuries from poverty flood filth systematic looting and deprivation by nature. But it was a tourist attraction fro all over the place. you could buy any goods and their cheap imitations in throw away price. Besides living is very cheap. Its beaches and boats provide good cheap sports. With tight money you can have good living. If morality is not an issue there are enough ways to make money. Many deserters from their own country make Bangkok their home.
Thais are good examples of many many life time in harmony with nature people and human gods that I thought unlivable place to live. Besides you shall find many western foreigners are living their for many decades. I found many Indians are living there for many generations.
there is something wrong with me I cannot live harmoniously. Joya said in the evening that someone, some nearby neighbor perhaps wants to meet me in Xmas. I did not inquire. I am a forgotten person in my house!
every moment is lesson for me to learn all over again in harmonious living and not causing disruption - how to subdue impulse for creating noise for disruption - exercise to control my excitements - learning and adapting to live with myself
I am under water and I cannot raise my head I roam around sitting in my cloth bamboo deck chair looking out through my window and imagine cold outside. I these days read and view Anthony Bourdain and see my world. I imagine time and travel with ancient. Modern India is only an extension that adopted greedy lusty living insatiable. I avoid. Anthony is addiction. I am just engrossed seeing and living along side Tony for many days now. I see his hunger for travel food and living that started at the age of nine when he accompanied a boatman for oyster hunting with his family. when tide subsided in the middle of mud he ate a oyster raw, given to him by the boatman. horrified his parents and brother watched him eating. ever since he has accomplished this feat of anything anywhere and everywhere - raw eatables uneatable semi cooked or cooked, drinks of all kinds, sometimes smoking drug opium or even going through therapeutic sessions. He roams all over the surface of world. I dream - I cannot digest what view.
My world.
I roam around with him while half asleep in dreams. I saw Thailand in my own eyes in 1994 but then avoided Bangkok living inside a luxury hotel where in higher floors my office was there and in the first two floor was mall and eating places. I did not have to go out unless I was by curiosity to walk and roam around the market place. I had privilege of traveling Thailand seeing all places worth seeing by a luxury car courtesy my employer. I saw brutality animal parks circus temples inland water ways and boat living. I saw Hindu statues Buddha monasteries to my hearts content. I saw market places. I saw its borders and fleets of commuters in bikes as pillion riders. I saw common men and women very different from any other country including India.
They do not laugh.
I long after found out the reason by watching a film by an English woman who signed a contract with Siam King to teach his 35 children in Siam palace. According to the contract she would live outside palace. But she had to live inside the palace and privileged to be intimate member. She had very good relation with the King. The film showed how brutally a young couple punished to death by the so called civil justice system where young beauties are picked to live in palace and wedded to king.
I was given a long lecture by a telecommunication professor who was teaching in some engineering college. It is about economics and political system and boom bust cycle artificial but accepted as fate by Thais. Protest happens by the young but brutally subdued. The reason why Thais do not smile.
all my feelings indigestion have to die in me without any expression. however no harm. i cannot be in disharmony.
is it possible?
yes. no.
I cannot be irrational and expect. I have to restrict my experiment to this moment only.
I must observe my ability to remain prefect hands off and maintain pin drop breathless silence with all my senses open and perceiving, here and now.
Besides all is me as is It is quite inconceivable to eliminate all easier alternative to eliminate me if possible when it is intolerable.
can I ask? Can I get anything from me by asking or searching? There is none and nothing besides me. What is there to ask that I don't know and others know? My way home? What is my home? Where is my home?
Do I have any doubt about this? yes or no. What is the solution?
harmonious silence or disruption with noise.
I had been in Siam - Thailand briefly for one month in Bangkok in 1994. It is ruled by King. Who then had triple citizen ship considering He was born in US and educated in Germany. Siam was never under control any foreign power and its absolute ruler is King for many centuries traditionally they are name after Hindu incarnation Rama. King is and above law. There is civil law - people property belonged to King. King can marry anybody he likes or just make her living with him. Population is a mixture Buddhists and Hindus, basically believer of God and Goddesses.They tackle daily hardship with penance puja and worshiping to overcome impending difficulties. Frequently there is mass protest but they are subdued with force. Firearms belong to army and government agents but not much with politicians. They are easily eliminated. Somehow the country goes through periodic boom and bust. It was some what relief for me that I did not live there for more than one month. All government employees no matter what job they held made money extracting bribe from public and they were rich. So was army and army men. Cycle is about 6 years business prospered and then banks were looted out of wealth by army - health wealth people all belonged to King. King lived in an island with his chiefs and stuff and family. In fights are their among siblings but there was no palace coup. Country is almost watery marshy muddy land. Some farming fishing tourism and foreign investment is chief and only source of income. Bangkok the capital is unbelievably dirty. Its all roads are filled with cars bumper to bumper. People on the road not in the car wear mask to avoid suffocation. Ordinary people if the can afford use motor bike and that is for taxing people around. there is huge filthy canal in the heart of Bangkok. It is horribly smelly. It is the drainage system. It used ferrying people around Bangkok to avoid getting stuck in traffic jam. People in Thailand could have no escape for many many centuries from poverty flood filth systematic looting and deprivation by nature. But it was a tourist attraction fro all over the place. you could buy any goods and their cheap imitations in throw away price. Besides living is very cheap. Its beaches and boats provide good cheap sports. With tight money you can have good living. If morality is not an issue there are enough ways to make money. Many deserters from their own country make Bangkok their home.
Thais are good examples of many many life time in harmony with nature people and human gods that I thought unlivable place to live. Besides you shall find many western foreigners are living their for many decades. I found many Indians are living there for many generations.
there is something wrong with me I cannot live harmoniously. Joya said in the evening that someone, some nearby neighbor perhaps wants to meet me in Xmas. I did not inquire. I am a forgotten person in my house!
every moment is lesson for me to learn all over again in harmonious living and not causing disruption - how to subdue impulse for creating noise for disruption - exercise to control my excitements - learning and adapting to live with myself
I am under water and I cannot raise my head I roam around sitting in my cloth bamboo deck chair looking out through my window and imagine cold outside. I these days read and view Anthony Bourdain and see my world. I imagine time and travel with ancient. Modern India is only an extension that adopted greedy lusty living insatiable. I avoid. Anthony is addiction. I am just engrossed seeing and living along side Tony for many days now. I see his hunger for travel food and living that started at the age of nine when he accompanied a boatman for oyster hunting with his family. when tide subsided in the middle of mud he ate a oyster raw, given to him by the boatman. horrified his parents and brother watched him eating. ever since he has accomplished this feat of anything anywhere and everywhere - raw eatables uneatable semi cooked or cooked, drinks of all kinds, sometimes smoking drug opium or even going through therapeutic sessions. He roams all over the surface of world. I dream - I cannot digest what view.
My world.
I roam around with him while half asleep in dreams. I saw Thailand in my own eyes in 1994 but then avoided Bangkok living inside a luxury hotel where in higher floors my office was there and in the first two floor was mall and eating places. I did not have to go out unless I was by curiosity to walk and roam around the market place. I had privilege of traveling Thailand seeing all places worth seeing by a luxury car courtesy my employer. I saw brutality animal parks circus temples inland water ways and boat living. I saw Hindu statues Buddha monasteries to my hearts content. I saw market places. I saw its borders and fleets of commuters in bikes as pillion riders. I saw common men and women very different from any other country including India.
They do not laugh.
I long after found out the reason by watching a film by an English woman who signed a contract with Siam King to teach his 35 children in Siam palace. According to the contract she would live outside palace. But she had to live inside the palace and privileged to be intimate member. She had very good relation with the King. The film showed how brutally a young couple punished to death by the so called civil justice system where young beauties are picked to live in palace and wedded to king.
I was given a long lecture by a telecommunication professor who was teaching in some engineering college. It is about economics and political system and boom bust cycle artificial but accepted as fate by Thais. Protest happens by the young but brutally subdued. The reason why Thais do not smile.
all my feelings indigestion have to die in me without any expression. however no harm. i cannot be in disharmony.
is it possible?
yes. no.
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