analysis

exactly at 9AM I got up fresh from a dream. I spent pondering about its relevance with my current status.

Is there anyway I in the midst of soil mud ash storms of abuse and dishonesty remain clean? how to remain clean?

In the dream I was attempting to give a solution as well teaching the same to my former acquaintances. Cleaning the soiled vessels with soap water spray. I got up thinking well there may be solution that I already concluded having no solution.

For the solution to be implemented by me, I need a washable suit cover of protection over all my senses. I have already tried all solutions - memory-less, senseless,  abstinence, ignorance ...

none of this works and I know. I incapable of remembering this knowledge.

it is custom all has name but not your teacher. you cannot mention or refer to your teacher.

teachers are selfless anonymous silent absent. they cannot receive gift from student they teach. they teach selflessness anonymity silence absence

I cannot hide or run away from my world. no solution. none to help. hopeless.

both me and my world literally in my stomach causing indigestion pain suffering and insanity. I am in circles and cannot break out. The fact or reality I cannot replace with assumptions.

unable to accept me.unable to accept there is none and nothing besides me. I have to accept everything and everyone. without doing. without thought. without any analysis. without any search. without any satisfaction. without recovery. I am unavoidable.

nothing can be accomplished by me. my stories do not make me happy.