the space within my heart

this book was written by aubrey menen and I bought it many times and read it once. i have given away my copies to many i know who i thought would benefit from reading this. like upanishads this i know and chance upon it many times in a day. the book starts thus:

I naively did not follow anything from this book. i liked jk reading very appealing to my intellect and i followed that. he said something like thus:

Suppose you are first person in the history in search of yourself without any predecessor to help you out with your query, what would you do?

I read upanishads. in my early childhood i read puranas mahabharata ramayana. i read shankaracharya's many mastery essays and comments. i read many books of very many authors including rajneesh. i followed however following advice jiddu as a first man with my library of past memories of life long experience.

I was turning very slowly towards me away from my world and pride. i was not in a hurry. my search was with me always from 1977. every wake hours even when i am doing something.

i was not comfortable in my world among my people. i wished to be comfortable. my job should revolutionary. my comfort with my world must be transient kind like having a car to drive around.

I did not like to drive. i did not like to do anything preferably if that is comfortable. I did not like to be in a hurry. i was not earning actively or engaged for almost 50% of my life. I was not short of time. I always had some paper where i would take time to write whatever i had at the top of mind. as if it is most important as if it is required to be written and i would read it ever in future.

i never read them again. but i tore them and threw them in the dustbin. books i buy and read even today. i am running sort of space and moreover i never read them again. they do not occupy my attention.

i was in search of a permanent solution to my problem: how to eliminate all my discomfort once for all and for all time to come.

the right place and time to achieve that is Here and Now. and that i have been all my time. i was set in motion by JK but AM i was understanding and remembering as I was turning face to face and looking at eye to eye my root away from my world and experience.

i remember Yajnavalkya question: how a human is reborn after death? a tree has a root to come back ? but where and what is the root for human that is never struck down by death. he answer his question saying, "knower of brahman calls it that". i am face to face and eye to eye THAT.

it is i

my future does not change
my present does not change
my past does not change

i am absolute

my world has meaning

i