dreams help me
Whenever I am clueless for my next step dreams help me invariably. It shall pursue me many a days i get the way. other people gets advice but it is not my way. I must be innovative and find my own way. yes i must not deny personal education help me getting the insight into the problem. some books did help me on my self analysis till i got rid of them. never ever read them again but i dreamt around them from them. raja yoga help me find my coordinate. it is me and not place. i know why there is so much unsuccess when comes stability and what makes people talk looking for conformance.
last night I got up from a very longish dream. I had gone to hear a talk given by Tony Boudier whom I watched intently for about 20 hours at least. He killed himself hanging in last August. I belonged to a place over 100 flats and it was large compound with many multi-storied building. I was unaware and forgot to note my address. I climbed into balcony realizing Tony was talking and knew him very well. I knew he is dead but lecturing now. After the lecture, there was questing session. I took my mike from the balcony and addressed a question to him.
I have watched you with curiosity despite your apparent comfort with people and surrounding and diverse culture that you visited. you were very broad minded but you did not get your coordinate right. it showed with your fingers always moving and searching. Is it the food is your coordinate? Is your forever restlessness is your origin. that cannot be - you are lost. I wonder after death you have reached your co-ordinate?
Tony did not reply but I saw so many dissenting person me in my surrounding. I climbed down and went for a walk. After some walk I lost my coordinate which is my flat? I do not find my flat but woke up. I was not disturbed when wholly wake.
Often when I wake up. I ask what is my last coordinate. I restore the surrounding and my subscription to events and talk stream. so that I continue with the stream. My last coordinate before my dream a computing path by which I could reach my innocence no matter how much I am lost.
Innocence is my true home.
After the dream there was no urgency for me to go anywhere. No subscription need no medicine is needed. The dream itself did not cause any indigestion that needed cure.
I cannot be lost in thought or memory any more. I cannot be touched by memory either. I need not go near to anybody or place or subscribe to any group or activities. I cannot publish to reach any far or near people in any coordinate.
My home coordinate is I do not know. my method keep my innocence, do not search my memory for meaning ever and do not touch and I do not get touched. I never search my memory for meaning even when one touches my purposely or by mistake. I do not what Thank you mean. I do not know what an abuse mean.
my innocence is my power to dominate and rule my world. I cannot get involved. I do not have to open any letter email or phone call. I am very superficial my feet does not ouch earth nor I understand. I cannot concentrate. when I am supposed to concentrate on a bird I don't see bird but see the sky. I do not get touched by sleep nor dream nor any events talk of any or me.
Another thing I learnt memory never dies. Some may disappear however innocence is everlasting
never ever disappear. One just not indulge with memory no matter how pleasant or repulsive.
Age of innocence is before stone age. I cannot be touched by hunger poverty filth grief birth death or pain from struggle for existence and forced into action.
I don't know what is future no matter what ~ i don't act
i don't act no matter what ~ i am innocent
it is unbelievable that at 69 i can be innocent by virtue of my action alone ~ my readiness to die without defence in silence without grievance
i refrain from even having another look at the painting of world i took me 69 years to paint
i turn my back from my memories writings knowledge internet for search on people and me
i turn away from honor money love recognition comfort words companionship attachment .... and all terrestrial
last night I got up from a very longish dream. I had gone to hear a talk given by Tony Boudier whom I watched intently for about 20 hours at least. He killed himself hanging in last August. I belonged to a place over 100 flats and it was large compound with many multi-storied building. I was unaware and forgot to note my address. I climbed into balcony realizing Tony was talking and knew him very well. I knew he is dead but lecturing now. After the lecture, there was questing session. I took my mike from the balcony and addressed a question to him.
I have watched you with curiosity despite your apparent comfort with people and surrounding and diverse culture that you visited. you were very broad minded but you did not get your coordinate right. it showed with your fingers always moving and searching. Is it the food is your coordinate? Is your forever restlessness is your origin. that cannot be - you are lost. I wonder after death you have reached your co-ordinate?
Tony did not reply but I saw so many dissenting person me in my surrounding. I climbed down and went for a walk. After some walk I lost my coordinate which is my flat? I do not find my flat but woke up. I was not disturbed when wholly wake.
Often when I wake up. I ask what is my last coordinate. I restore the surrounding and my subscription to events and talk stream. so that I continue with the stream. My last coordinate before my dream a computing path by which I could reach my innocence no matter how much I am lost.
Innocence is my true home.
After the dream there was no urgency for me to go anywhere. No subscription need no medicine is needed. The dream itself did not cause any indigestion that needed cure.
I cannot be lost in thought or memory any more. I cannot be touched by memory either. I need not go near to anybody or place or subscribe to any group or activities. I cannot publish to reach any far or near people in any coordinate.
My home coordinate is I do not know. my method keep my innocence, do not search my memory for meaning ever and do not touch and I do not get touched. I never search my memory for meaning even when one touches my purposely or by mistake. I do not what Thank you mean. I do not know what an abuse mean.
my innocence is my power to dominate and rule my world. I cannot get involved. I do not have to open any letter email or phone call. I am very superficial my feet does not ouch earth nor I understand. I cannot concentrate. when I am supposed to concentrate on a bird I don't see bird but see the sky. I do not get touched by sleep nor dream nor any events talk of any or me.
Another thing I learnt memory never dies. Some may disappear however innocence is everlasting
never ever disappear. One just not indulge with memory no matter how pleasant or repulsive.
Age of innocence is before stone age. I cannot be touched by hunger poverty filth grief birth death or pain from struggle for existence and forced into action.
I don't know what is future no matter what ~ i don't act
i don't act no matter what ~ i am innocent
it is unbelievable that at 69 i can be innocent by virtue of my action alone ~ my readiness to die without defence in silence without grievance
i refrain from even having another look at the painting of world i took me 69 years to paint
i turn my back from my memories writings knowledge internet for search on people and me
i turn away from honor money love recognition comfort words companionship attachment .... and all terrestrial
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