Threshold
Long ago I crossed last threshold. I live in dirty poisonous hell hole with only enemies and cut throat. I do not any more pretend my innocence. If I know it is OK if I do not then too no harm. I don't have to spend single minute to find why I dreamt what. It is not worth it, whatever be the answer. Lot of expectations but I have no more binding. I am capable of eating my disappointments of not achieving my goal. In my home I do not talk. None but me crosses the thresholds. All vanish.
thresholds have been crossed and I am in an open space. I can proceed in any direction stretching my limbs nothing is any beauty that fills my heart. pleasing anyone is no longer my pleasure.
what do I expect?
I know I am committed to fetch my food and cook my food. eat the same. clean vessels and clean garbage etc etc. I have about thirty books from library by rex stout I have read 60%. I am sleeping little bit too much some days it is exceeding 15 hours. sometimes, still i shout at my son. he still does not earn his living. but then I am exhausted. telling him makes no difference although i do not know future; I know that i shall never know. same as, i can never displace earth from its rail, I cannot displace from my son's locomotive from its rail. Many dozens are looking to talk to him; and then they come to me but this fellow is bluffing me always. I have told him that I am going to withdraw his credit card on 5th of December.
I have in last 6 months interviewed about 40 times. I do not expect any result. Most often it is the same client but different vendors. I am about convinced that I cannot work in most environment like ibm tcs accenture ... they are so rubbish to talk to, they are from stone age without knowledge of technology but jargons. I hardly have my energy to speak a single word to them. since the world is very bad world and it is going to be worse and worse - more my stay in earth is prolonged, it is going to be harder and harder living. Thank god that I am able to create my home and I cannot forced out. e ven atom bomb do vanish in my home.
Allow no one to touch me for no reason. Any thing moves in my home do not touch me. Any sounds floats in does not make me curious. I eat my appetite hunger unpleasant boredom illness discomfort scarcity absence insolvency filths dishonor fear and poverty- my food and drinks. I am not moved. I have inexhaustible supply of plenty. no filth of my world can ever cross my thresholds; they become my food and beverage as soon as they cross my threshold. My Magic spell!
fortunately i do not mind wasting my time. i have 24 hours to waste. If I do not, I shall be reading or sleeping. some days i review technology and its bullshit state. Machine intelligence is absolute without merit. Technology is about 100 years old. But in the hands of fraud it is unreliable to use. Any self driving car on the road is almost doomed before it covers even 100 miles. They are digging up Los Angeles to reduce traffic jams. I remember once I tried to go some place in LA, after three hours I returned back to my hotel. I did not even cover 30 miles. I know about Calcutta metro - it took about 50 years to make underground rail only 30 miles long.
My life time is not at all sufficient to witness any technology break through.
I have forgotten to laugh. I am in hell. What do I expect? I don't.
thresholds have been crossed and I am in an open space. I can proceed in any direction stretching my limbs nothing is any beauty that fills my heart. pleasing anyone is no longer my pleasure.
what do I expect?
I know I am committed to fetch my food and cook my food. eat the same. clean vessels and clean garbage etc etc. I have about thirty books from library by rex stout I have read 60%. I am sleeping little bit too much some days it is exceeding 15 hours. sometimes, still i shout at my son. he still does not earn his living. but then I am exhausted. telling him makes no difference although i do not know future; I know that i shall never know. same as, i can never displace earth from its rail, I cannot displace from my son's locomotive from its rail. Many dozens are looking to talk to him; and then they come to me but this fellow is bluffing me always. I have told him that I am going to withdraw his credit card on 5th of December.
I have in last 6 months interviewed about 40 times. I do not expect any result. Most often it is the same client but different vendors. I am about convinced that I cannot work in most environment like ibm tcs accenture ... they are so rubbish to talk to, they are from stone age without knowledge of technology but jargons. I hardly have my energy to speak a single word to them. since the world is very bad world and it is going to be worse and worse - more my stay in earth is prolonged, it is going to be harder and harder living. Thank god that I am able to create my home and I cannot forced out. e ven atom bomb do vanish in my home.
Allow no one to touch me for no reason. Any thing moves in my home do not touch me. Any sounds floats in does not make me curious. I eat my appetite hunger unpleasant boredom illness discomfort scarcity absence insolvency filths dishonor fear and poverty- my food and drinks. I am not moved. I have inexhaustible supply of plenty. no filth of my world can ever cross my thresholds; they become my food and beverage as soon as they cross my threshold. My Magic spell!
fortunately i do not mind wasting my time. i have 24 hours to waste. If I do not, I shall be reading or sleeping. some days i review technology and its bullshit state. Machine intelligence is absolute without merit. Technology is about 100 years old. But in the hands of fraud it is unreliable to use. Any self driving car on the road is almost doomed before it covers even 100 miles. They are digging up Los Angeles to reduce traffic jams. I remember once I tried to go some place in LA, after three hours I returned back to my hotel. I did not even cover 30 miles. I know about Calcutta metro - it took about 50 years to make underground rail only 30 miles long.
My life time is not at all sufficient to witness any technology break through.
I have forgotten to laugh. I am in hell. What do I expect? I don't.
Each and every person known or unknown to me including me is a locomotive on rail . None can be steered out of their rail. I presume too much of me. None is ever any resemblance with what is taking place.
All my interpretation is 100% false.
चलती फिरती दरवाजे
gjguigiugiug utuyi uygiutiu uygiugiu ugigiugii hiji biji duul
All my interpretation is 100% false.
चलती फिरती दरवाजे
gjguigiugiug utuyi uygiutiu uygiugiu ugigiugii hiji biji duul
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